Cams is FIVE!!

Whew!!!  After all the counting down, its finally here - its your birthday!!!!  Happy 5th Birthday, Camden Isaiah Ball!!!  You have been eagerly anticipating this day for a very LONG time!!  When we got to the one-month-out mark, you didn't think you could stand it any longer.  And, oh boy, the last 10 days when you've been able to count down each day have been fun.  And now that its today, I hope its a super day filled with lots of fun just for you!!

We have a full agenda with swimming and a special lunch and then your request of homemade pizza for dinner and no bake cookies for dessert.  Oh, and there may be a present to open, too. ;)  But, for just a minute, let me think about how big you've gotten over the last year.

You are so stinkin' funny....still!  You still make silly faces, you still say silly things, and you still have a one-of-kind inflection in your voice.  You are sweet and kind and ornery and all-boy.  You laugh and cry and snuggle and build and imagine.  The other day you blew me away with a truck you built out of blocks, and nearly everyday you and your brothers put on self-created costumes and act out Pirates of the Caribbean or Star Wars.

You are so excited to start Kindergarten this year.  I know that you will just blossom because you are already a very smart boy.  Last week, your brothers showed you how you can add numbers on your fingers and you haven't missed an opportunity to practice.

You are still super attached to your "night-night" which makes me smile.  Even though you're such a big kid now, there's something sweet about seeing you wrap up in your night-night (soft side to you, of course), suck your thumb, and crawl into bed (or mine and Daddy's bed in the wee hours).  

You are a rough and tumble boy and your legs always have the bruises to prove it.  You love to play outside and to help in the garden.  You absolutely loved your first year of t-ball and were so fun to watch.  

You like to dance and sing and you don't tell me to stop (yet) when I join in.  We love the Happy song and I may or may not have added it to our iTunes just for you and Landon.  You also love to sing songs about Jesus.  Yesterday, we were listening to the radio in the car and I heard you say to Landon, "Oh, Landon, I really like this song, don't you?  Its about the Lord!"  I just smiled and turned it up a little louder.  You are hilarious to watch dance.  Sometimes you just spin around and act crazy, but others you try to do the robot and it cracks me up every.single.time.  I guess you get your dance moves from your Mama.  Sorry about that. ;)

You are pretty crazy about your big brothers and your baby sister...and your mom and dad and the rest of your family.  You are almost always the one to initiate "High-Low" at dinnertime....which means you determine the order in which we all go....and then you have a bunch of highs and lows every day.

You are so much fun, Cams.  I'm so glad that God made you a part of our family.  I am praying for all the great big things He is going to do in you and through you as you grow.  I love you times infinity, buddy.

Mom

Happy Birthday, Laney Kate!!

Laney Kate,

Oh my goodness, sweet girl - you are 2 years old today!!!  I can't believe how fast the last 2 years have gone.  Your Daddy, brothers, and I love you so very much and we are all looking forward to celebrating today!  You were our little surprise and a bright spot during a hard time for our family.  Your big brothers have been in love with you from the very beginning (well, mostly ;)) and they still are.  I think they were more excited to tell you "Happy Birthday" this morning than they were for their own birthdays.  They do, however, still call you "Goo" or "Baby Goo" a lot of the time....I apologize now for time when you hear this and do not find any humor. 

I think the craziest thing for me is how much you have changed since your last birthday.  Last year you were just starting to stand and take a few wobbly steps, and now you run all over the place...and climb....everywhere.  Last year you still just had a little peach fuzz and the only way you could wear a bow was to clip it to a headband that you nearly always pulled off your head.  Last year you were just starting to say a few words and now you have a whole arsenal of them.
Here are my favorites right now: 
     -You very rarely call your brothers by their names, but instead refer to them all as "boy" or            "boys".  This is especially true when you are tattling on them. ;)
     -You will.not. say Caleb...you just call him Rylee and he does NOT think its funny...and you            do...
     -"Daddy" and "Mama" are two of my favorites, especially since your brothers almost always        call us "Dad" and "Mom" now.
     -You call your paci your "papi" and anytime sleep is mentioned you ask for it.  Thats getting        ready to end soon though, as Operation Break LK of Her Paci begins next week when the          school year ends and schedules no longer matter.

Here are some of your favorite things right now: your family (including aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents), Kord, sweet tea, Doc McStuffins, Ariel, your "Down on the Farm" board book, baby dolls that you push in baby strollers or your toy cart, your paci, pestering your brothers, kisses, and outside.

My prayer for you this year is that as you continue to learn and grow and develop, you will begin to understand that Jesus loves you even more than we do.  That you will continue to grow and learn and develop your personality - which, by the way, is the perfect blend of mischevious, stinker, and sweet.

I love you, Laney Kate!!  You are my girl and I am thankful beyond words that the Lord placed you in our family.  You were and are the perfect addition.  I hope you feel special and know how loved you are today.

Happy 2nd Birthday!

Love, 
Mama

Landon's 6th Birthday

Dear Landy,

Holy Birthday, Batman!!  You are SIX years old today!!!!  Can you believe it?!  Can I still call you Landy?  You've jumped on the Ayden train and call me Mom about 80% of the time now, but so far you haven't told me that you don't want to be called Landy anymore.  Don't grow up too fast...take it easy on this Mama!!

My little blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy.  You probably look the most like your Daddy.  You have a lot of his personality, too.  You like to make people laugh.  You get frustrated quickly.  You love big.  You are so smart.

This has been a big year for you, starting Kindergarten.  I laugh at myself now...at how worried I was that you would struggle learning to read because you were a late talker and developed your language a little later.  I had NOTHING to worry about!  You are an amazing little reader!!  Its been so fun to watch you this year as you've worked on it and become better and better.  Now you can read stories to yourself or your brothers or sister.  I loved it last week when you were reading your library book to me and Ayden kept inching closer to hear you.  You did a great job!!

You are great at drawing!!  Daddy and I are NOT, so I'm not sure where you came up with that talent, but you are a natural.  Your pictures tell stories lots of times.  My refrigerator is always full of your artwork.  Its so cool to see you work at it.  You make it look easy! ;)

You are a sweet brother, especially to Laney Kate.  You still kiss her on the head as much now as you did when she was a newborn.  You and your brothers fight a lot, but you also play together and laugh together a lot.  Usually, the times you are laughing the most and getting along the best, you guys are doing something you shouldn't, BUT, you still have lots of fun together.

You are my Mr. Independent.  I know its important to teach you to do things for yourself, but sometimes I just want to jump in and help when I see you struggling with something, but you won't have it.  You like to do things all by yourself.  Its a good character trait for you to have to be diligent and hardworking and to persevere.

Its been a year of loss, most notably for you, Poppa.  How many conversations have we had about how Poppa is now in heaven with Jesus and has no more cancer and no more pain?  You boys have been so curious.  I love that we can all walk with the certainty that he really is with the Lord at this very moment.

Ah, Landy, what does this year hold for us?  You are starting to understand more and more about Jesus, and Daddy and I continue to pray for the day that you decide to follow Him always.  Maybe it will be this year.  You are looking forward to playing baseball again.  Now that we're through all 20 snow days we've had this year, we are looking forward to spring...and then summer!!  No school!!  Whoop Whoop!! Then 1st grade -what?!  Ah, I don't want to think about all that growing up just yet.

Not today.  Because today you are six.  We will celebrate with a Batman party tomorrow night with our family...and missing some special people, too.  In a few hours I'll be in your classroom with cupcakes and juice boxes for your friends.  Tonight we'll feast on "chicken and pasta" per your request and you can use the birthday plate and our special birthday chair (remember, Mrs. Megan??).  And at some point today, I'm going to curl you up into a little Landy-ball and smooch you and snuggle you and smooch you some more.....and then I'll rub them in to be sure you can't wipe them off.

I love you sweet boy.  Have a fun day!!

Love,
Mama

Ayden

Dear Ayden,

How can it be that you are 8 years old?  Weren't you just a newborn snuggled up in my arms just a few days ago?  Time is marching by so quickly.  It seems like you are just growing up so fast!  It cracked me up how you watched the clock all.day.long.  Your Lego Ninjago party was super fun and a big hit, I think.

The last year has been the best one yet.  In April, you gave your heart to Jesus.  Enough said.  Even if nothing else happened all year, I would count it a success.  At Christmas time this year, we worked the Truth in the Tinsel for the first time.  About halfway through, you told me it was really fun and we should do it every year.  Be still my heart.  My prayer (you know because you hear it at night) is that you will learn to love Jesus more every day and that you will have a love for God's Word.

You continue to be one of the most amazing big brothers.  Despite your "moments," more times than not you are kind, patient, forgiving, and encouraging.  Anytime I want Laney Kate to say something, I just ask you to ask her, since she won't talk for me.  You've worked with her to call you "Bubba" and I wonder if thats what she will grow up calling you.

You have sweet, good friends.  You were so excited to have Cooper and Lane come to your birthday party.  And, everyone here kept saying what sweet boys they are.  Daddy said how thankful he is that you have them as friends, because we have spent lots of time praying that you would have sweet, good-influence friends.

I love that you still aren't too old to snuggle - and you actually like to!! Physical touch is definitely your love language.  I love your creativity - the way you draw, build Legos, and see the world, in general.  I am blown away by how smart you are and how easily you remember information.  And your reading?  Whoa.  You read an entire Magic Tree House chapter book in 45 min.  No big deal. ;)  I also love that you are learning how to handle life when things are harder...even though I wish it wasn't so.  Some things with school have been a struggle this year, and you maintain a sweet attitude.  I love how funny you are.  By the time you were just a few weeks old, we all said to each other, "What did we do for entertainment before he was born?"  We just watched you all the time.  And, still, you bring your share of laughter to our house.

Buddy, I can feel the subtle shift of a change coming.  You are no longer a baby, a toddler, or a little boy.  You are in full-blown boyhood now.  Part of me wishes that I could keep you little forever.  But, another part of me can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you and your future...and I'm enjoying the present with  you, too.

I love you so much, Ayden Parker.

Marriage and The Church

Jesse made a statement to me today, and I can't get it out of my head.

"Its amazing how few people really believe in the sanctity of marriage, no matter what."

Wow.  

We were so young when we got married.  So very young.  And immature.  We didn't have a clue what we were getting into.  Thank goodness we had wise and grounded believers around us to invest in us and give us wise counsel.

There are a few things we learned during our premarital counseling that have really stuck with us through the years.  Mainly about conflict.  I remember learning how to "fight fair" and not bring up a list of grievances from the past but to focus on the issue at hand.  Not to use phrases like "you always ___" or "you never ___."  We may not have a perfect record with it, but 11 1/2 years later, we still remember and do our best to be fair.

The other thing was this: Never, ever, no matter what, use the word "divorce."

We made the decision before we ever said "I do" that divorce would not be an option for us.  Never.  Ever.  No matter what.  We are committed to this thing.  In it together.  Forever.  It's kind of a big deal.

And, boy, has it ever been worth the commitment.  My 19-year-old-getting-ready-to-walk-down-the-aisle-to-marry-my-hot-high-school-sweetheart-self could have never known just how much work marriage is.  Or how rewarding.  At our wedding, I remember one sweet couple hugging us and saying, "This first year will be great.  But, it will also be the worst year of your marriage.  Because, every single year just gets better than the last."  Profoundly true, my friends.  I am so much more in love with Jesse than I was the day I married him.  I loved him, then.  But, after all that we have shared, its a deeper and more appreciative and a more thankful love than ever before.

Today, as we struggle with heavy hearts for those fellow believers around us that want to just give up and walk away, I feel like God spoke to my heart.  

Marriage is meant to be the ultimate representation of God's covenant love and relationship with us.  When Christians so easily walk away from their covenant with their spouse, how can we expect the world around us to see Jesus?

Why aren't we willing to fight for our spouse?  Why do we take the easy way out?  Why do we throw away those we once claimed to love?  We make up excuses, we blame, we hide, we accuse, we try to justify.

In Malachi 2:15, God tells us not to break faith "with the wife of your youth."  When we take our vows, we don't say "for better or worse....or until you hurt me too deeply or make it too hard or I find someone I like more"  Its supposed to be sacred.  Holy.  Set apart.  

In Mark 10 when the Pharisees tested Jesus and asked if it was lawful for men to divorce, Jesus challenged them right back.  He already knew Moses had commanded that divorce was sometimes permissible.  But, Jesus said in verse 5: "It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law."

A marriage between believers is a picture of Jesus (the bridegroom) and the Church (the bride).  We should hold it sacred.  Jesus doesn't throw us away because we've sinned too much or messed up one too many times.  Jesus doesn't work that way.  Jesus is a perfect example of a 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love.  And Jesus should be our standard...not the world or even other believers around us - because Jesus is the only perfect one.

God has used these verses to work deeply in my heart in the last year and a half: Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.  Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children, and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Ephesians 4:32-5:2

I guess the message on my heart today is this: When the going gets tough, fight for your marriage.  Be kind.  Compassionate.  Forgiving.  Imitate God.  Live a life of love.  You won't regret it in the end.  In fact, it will be more than worth it.  Go ahead, give it a try.  

Camden's 4th Birthday

Dear Camden,

Four years old already!!  Can you believe it?!  You have been counting down for weeks, even though you don't totally understand the concept of tracking time.  What an addition you have been to our family!!  There were times when I wasn't sure either one of us was going to survive the 2s and 3s, but here we are at a brand new year!!

Over the last year, we've moved (twice); you've learned about our loss and heaven's gain; you've learned to write your name, circles, squares, triangles, and few other letters; have started to learn to use scissors; can put on your own shoes; can count to 20 every time and 30 sometimes.  You continue to use words well, sometimes to your own detriment.  If I've said it once, I've said a thousand times that its a good thing your funny.  Its seriously your saving grace sometimes, but its also my favorite quality about you.

You are a good brother.  Landon is your buddy and you have missed him being gone to preschool this year.  Sometimes you play well together and other times you fight like crazy, but I know you love each other.  You are the same with Ayden and Laney Kate.  Yesterday you were trying to wrestle with Laney Kate just like you do your brothers, and thats not even close to the first time you've been too rough with her.  But, if she is crying, you are always quick to sing to her.  And she stops.  Every.single.time.  You always start with "Jesus Loves Me" and then if she needs more you add in "My God is So Big" or "Who is the King of the Jungle?" or "Jesus Loves the Little Children" or sometimes you sing them all.  But, she always stops - at least while your singing.

You love a good laugh.  Sometimes you get your laughs by picking at and pestering people, or sometimes you tell jokes, but most times you're just Camden.  The things you say make me laugh every day.  Your four-year-old sense of logic cracks me up and the questions you come up with blow my mind.

Your most favorite thing to play, for the moment, is superheroes.  You and your brothers put on your costumes every day and run around the house staging battle after battle.  You love to be Batman and chose a Batman birthday party.  But, you also like to be Iron Man, SpiderMan, and Bumblebee.  You'll come out in your Batman costume and ask if I know who you are - and then you'll rip off the mask and ask who you are THEN.  From Batman to Bruce Wayne or Iron Man to Tony Stark or SpiderMan to Peter Parker.  I think you and your brothers (and Daddy, too) know everything about every superhero and supervillan under the sun.  I just smile and nod a lot. ;)

You love having your cousins so close, but you miss our friends and family in Jacksonville (and you like to remind us that your brothers were born in MO, but you and Laney were born in Jax).  When we mention Rylee and Caleb, you still sometimes get that turned around with Caleb and Luke and you ask why Mrs. Ash-a-lee's house and Mr. Johnny's house and Aunt Le-lanne's house and Miss Kelly's house and Miss Megan's house are so far away?? 

You still sleep almost every night with your night-night, and you still suck your thumb at bedtime a lot, but not every day like you used to.  You are also starting to outgrow your afternoon nap, but Momma is hanging on to that for as long as I can.  The only thing we've established in that regard so far is that when your 7 like, Ayden you won't have to take naps anymore.

You are a good helper, especially when its just you and me.  You don't like to clean up on your own, but if I help you, you hop to it.  And, you love to be in the kitchen with me, watching and/or helping me cook.  But you think we need to get a boy apron for you to wear like Grammy has.

In the fall, you and I are going to be doing preschool at home, and we are both getting pretty excited about it.  I'm looking forward to one more year at home with you before you go to school.  Its fun to get to plan themes that I know you'll enjoy.

You have learned so much this last year and you have grown so much.  You really are a good, big boy.  I love you so much, Camden Isaiah.  My prayer for you this year is that you will always love church as much as you do now, that you will learn and grow and have a passion for Jesus, that you will always have a tender heart under your tough exterior, and that I will cherish this time with you.

Happy Birthday, Cams!!
Love,
Mama

That one time when I got locked out of the car...

Have you ever had one of those parenting moments when you realized you were one of those parents?  You know, the ones who are irresponsible?  The ones who you secretly cackle at and console yourself when you have an oops moment, because at least you didn't do the same thing they did.

Nope?  Just me?  Well, anyway.

A few months ago we had the pleasure of hosting some of our best friends as they visited from Jacksonville.  Jesse and Rusty had been working off and on during the week on a new apothecary table for us to use as an entertainment center.  {Thank you, Pinterest, for introducing me to ana-white.com and her wide array of "easy" to follow plans for countless pieces of furniture that I'm pretty much in love with and convinced I need.  My husband thanks you from the very bottom of his heart.  No lie.}

So, they needed a few accessory pieces for the table and Megan and I wanted to do some shopping anyway, so we added Lowe's to our list of places to stop.  We had agreed: Megan and I would take Laney Kate and Jesse and Rusty were on Ball Boy duty.  Great plan, right?  Only those who've experienced the pleasure of going to town {yep, we have to go to town 'round here} with the Ball Boys will fully appreciate NOT going to town with the Ball Boys.  They hate to shop.  They are hard to wrangle.  They want new toys.  They aren't usually bad but I already get enough of "Oh, wow, you have your hands full" comments from strangers anyway.  But, I digress.

Jesse and Rusty argued that it was only fair to divide the Ball kiddos equally.  Cassie and Megan take 2 and Jesse and Rusty keep 2.  We ended up with Camden and Laney Kate.  {Insert: this is really just a set up for me to say this was all Jesse's fault. ;)}  So, off to our first stop at Lowe's.

On the way to Lowe's Megan and I heard the muffler come apart on our Suburban.  Its not a super big deal, but causes it to be loud and we don't want the stray (piece? part?) to get caught on anything, so we just have to pop it back together.  I wasn't sure if it would be hot after driving, so I told Megan we'd do our shopping and then fix it before we left the store. 

I was thrilled to find the items I needed on clearance in Lowe's.  But, Camden was, um...a bit of a pill in the store.  When we got to the car, he was in need of some discipline.  So, I opened the driver's side door and put my things down so my hands would be free to dole out said discipline.  Then I told Camden to get in his carseat and get buckled.  You should know that he rarely obeys this directive on the first time, but this time he did.

I got Laney Kate in her carseat, shut the door and proceeded to try to fix the muffler.  It was a little harder than I thought and I *might* have had to stop Megan from crawling her pregnant self UNDER our car.  But a few minutes and several giggles later, voila.

I went around to my side and pulled the door handle.  Locked.  With my keys laying in the front seat and two children buckled into their carseats.  Oh, and my cell phone was laying next to the keys.  Crap.  Apparently, during the discipline sesh, Cams accidentally hit the locks with his flailing arms.  Go figure.

"Camden," I yelled through the door.  "Try to get unbuckled and come open the door for me."  He tried and tried and tried....and then tried some more.  He can get himself buckled, but he can't undo it.  After trying and failing lots of times he gave up and started crying.  Megan and I are both standing with our faces pressed to the window and talking into the car, and we are getting questions like, "Are you locked out?"  {Um, just for the record, I will not be asking anyone that question in the future.}

Finally, some guy came over to try and help us.  He said sometimes the keys from the same manufacturer will work.  But, of course it didn't work for us.  That would have been too easy.  So, we calls the police for us.  Yes, the police.  And they sent the firemen.

Yes, the fireman.  You know, the ones in the small, inconspicuous truck?  The one that doesn't have sirens and lights?  You know...except the exact opposite of all that.  In the middle of the Lowe's parking lot and with a crowd gathered around.  It took them for-e-ver to get it unlocked.  They tried the driver's side door, then the passenger's side door, then back to the driver's side door before it finally unlocked.  Oh, but then the car alarm went off.  Seriously, there  was no escaping the humiliation.

At least they were nice about it.  And, thankfully, they didn't ask for my name and address to turn me in for child abuse or neglect.  So, thats a plus. 

Once they were done, Megan and I got the heck out of dodge in a hurry.  Once we were away, I was able to laugh.  BUT, you better believe that I called Jesse to tell him all about what HIS son had done.  He just laughed in a a way that said, "Better you than me."  Mmmhmm.  Megan told me that the story needed to be a blog, so here ya go, Meg.  This one's for you!! :)

Laney Kate

Laney Kate,

As much as I wanted time to slow down just a little, today is your first birthday.  Its been different with you, because you are our last baby.  I've been a little more sappy about all of your firsts - first words, first steps, first foods, first smiles.  I'm a little sad about leaving babyhood behind.  But, I'm excited to see you growing bigger and learning more and new things every day.

What an unexpected little blessing you have been.  We were thinking we were done having babies when we found out you were coming.  I love those stinky ol' brothers of yours, but I just KNEW we'd have a fourth boy.  When the ultrasound tech said you were a girl, I asked if she was sure.  Since that day, my goal has been to enjoy and indulge in all things girly. 

You are the most beautiful baby girl I know.  Your blonde hair is finally starting to grow in a little more and your blue eyes shine, especially when you smile.  You have a mouthful of teeth (10 as of now, and working on a few more) and round little cheeks.  Your {slightly} chunky thighs make me want to swoon.

You are basically eating off the table all the time now.  Unlike your brothers, who got picky when they started eating table food, you like....everything.  You've eaten lettuce and tomatoes, carrots, onions, squash, zucchini, strawberries, grapes, bananas, and more.  You like it all.  You especially love Cheetos, cake, and suckers. ;) 

I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to start drinking from a cup, but you are getting the hang of it now.  And, you are thinking that milk is good after all.  So far, I'm getting about a cup and half down you each day.

You are still taking a morning and afternoon nap.  I would love to rock you to sleep, but you are squirmy and don't go to sleep as well that way.  But, when I lay you down in bed with your blanket and a paci, you generally go right to sleep.  And, those times where we do cuddle are all the more special.

Speaking of the paci, well, you are addicted.  None of my other kids have been, so this is new for us.  Sometimes you are a little fussy, and if I give you your paci, you settle right down.  Its like you need a little fix or something.  I at least try to buy you cute ones since you have them in your mouth so often.

You are saying a few words: mama, dada, uh-oh.  I THINK you say several more: up, Ayden, Landon, more, milk.  But, you aren't much of a performer when it comes to repeating a word after me or saying one again that I think I just heard.

You are crazy about your big brothers, and they are just as crazy about you.  Bless your heart.  They kiss you until I'm sure you're sick of it.  When you cry, they sing to you, usually "Jesus Loves Me."  They "help" you play with your toys, and they make sure every new person you meet knows that you are their sister.

You are generally a very happy baby.  Although, I think you have a little of Camden's quick temper.  But, I also wonder if you also have Ayden's tender heart since you cry when I tell you "no-no" or to stop.  But, you are content to, ahem, "explore" on your own and you stay happy more times than not.  Especially when there's a camera around - you're kind of a ham for photo time.

I don't remember what our family was like without you in it.  I think you are a very lucky and well protected girl to have three big brothers.  You are most definitely the little princess in our family.  I'm so thankful that God picked us to be your family.  You are the most amazing baby girl.

I can't wait to see how much you grow and change over the next year.  I love you sweet girl.

Happy Birthday!!

Mama

Ayden's Salvation

I remember when we first found out Ayden was on the way.  We took four pregnancy tests, just to be sure. ;)  That seems like just a few short days ago, when in reality, it was 8 years, and my sweet firstborn is 7 years old.

From the time we knew he was on the way, we began to pray for his salvation.  We pray that same prayer for Landon, Camden, and Laney Kate.  What greater joy can there be for a parent than to know their child has given their heart to Jesus?

Ayden is now old enough to understand that Jesus was born to a virgin, lived a sinless life, died on the cross, rose 3 days later, and ascended to the Father all in order to be our sacrifice.  But, Ayden also knew all of the answers.  He has been taught at home, learned in church, and even been in a christian school.  So, it was important to Jesse and I that we not push him. 

We have talked about salvation several times over the last months.  Ayden began to ask some tentative questions, but was never sure if he wanted to ask Jesus into his heart.  We told him that when the time was right, God would tell him, and he would just know.

He began asking questions again a little over a week ago at church.  We have seen some people baptized recently, which had been the spark for Ayden's questions.  As we were at church, Ayden told me that he was ready to get baptized. 

We told Ayden that we'd really like to talk to him about it some more, so on the way home from church, he was ready to talk.  Jesse asked him if he understood why we get baptized.  He sort of understood, but Jesse wanted to be clear so that Ayden would know that baptism does not equal salvation, rather it is an act of obedience after salvation and a picture of what Jesus has done in our hearts.

After discussion and being convinced that Ayden knew what he was talking about, Jesse asked him if he wanted to ask Jesus into his heart.

I held my breath, because we've asked this question before only to hear, "uh...not yet."

But, this time, he said yes.  Jesse led him in prayer right there in the car.  And we had a family celebration that night.

What a joy to know my boy has chosen to follow Jesus.  When he was a newborn, our pastor prayed over him at his baby dedication that he would grow up to be a giant for Jesus.  Oh, how that has been and continues to be my prayer.  What great things will he do for the Lord?

But, today, my heart is rejoicing, just as it has been since April 14, because my boy has given his heart to the One who loves him with an everlasting love and who gave His own Son so that we might know Him.

Do you know Him?

For God so loved the world that He have his one and only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. ~John 3:16

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. ~Romans 5:8

If you declare with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord' and believe in your heart God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. ~Romans 10:9-10

Happy 5th Birthday, Landon!

Landy-Boy,

Wow.  Five years old!!  Daddy and I sat awake last night just taking it in.  We can't believe you are already 5!!  The time has just flown by.

It makes me sad that you are growing up so fast, but, honestly I'm looking forward to a fresh, new year for you.  The past year of your life has brought some pretty rough changes for you.  We moved away from the only home you can remember, and even though we moved closer to our family, you have had the hardest time adjusting.  You miss your friends, your surrogate family, your church (and class...and teachers!), and your school.  Now, just as you are settling in, we are moving again!  But, this time, its a good move...back to our very own home.  You were just a baby when we left there so you can't remember.  But, it will be wonderful to have a little more space and to be back in a place that we can call our own.

You also became a big brother (again) this last year.  Oh my goodness, do you love Laney Kate.  When she was still a very small baby, Daddy and I would notice how stinky her head was at night....from all the slobber of big brother kisses all day.  Most of those kisses came from you.  Now that she's more mobile, you can't catch her enough to give her that many kisses, but you still take care of her.  When she cries, you'll find her pacifier or sing her a song.  When she gets something she shouldn't, you tell her no, but gently take it away.  And, she adores you.

You have grown so much since you turned four.  Physically, you are a few inches taller (not much more in pounds, though, skinny-man).  Your speech has continued to improve by leaps and bounds.  And, you have matured SOOOO much, especially since you started preschool.

You have begun to notice some things that Ayden does, and have tried to do the same.  Like, you no longer like to just color a picture.  No, you need a piece of white paper so you can draw, just like your big brother.  And, you draw out an entire action scene, too. 

You're favorite things earlier in the year were Toy Story and Cars, but now you've moved on to Jake and the Neverland Pirates.  In fact, thats the theme you chose for your birthday party.  Its probably one of the most entertaining things I see when you sing the theme song (or really, any song!).

You are great at playing pretend.  You are a great helper.  You like to snuggle and are always quick to say, "I love you."  You are such a sweet boy.  We are all crazy about you. 

You are learning more about the Lord all the time.  Lately, you've been repeating a line from a VeggieTales movie, a lot.  You'll say, "Hey, Mama, when you're afraid, just give it to God!"  Thats right, bud.  And, you still like to sing "God's Not Dead" along with the radio.

I can't wait to see how you grow and change over the next year.  In just a few short months, you'll be a big Kindergartener.  Holy cow!!!  Time needs to slow down!!  But, more than anything, I want you to know that I'm so glad that I get to be here to watch you grow up.  I'm so thankful God chose me and Daddy to be your parents, and for you to be part of our family.  I love you so much, Landon Ryan Ball!!  Happy Birthday, sweet boy!!!

Love,
Mama

Winning and Losing

I have had this post mulling around in my head for a week now.  Last Monday, Ayden had the privilege of representing his grade level at the district-wide spelling bee.  In order to get to that point, he had to be one of the top four from his class spelling bee.  He then went on to compete with his 3 classmates and the top 4 spellers from the other first grade class.  We tried to be really low-key about it, saying how it would be cool if he won, but not big deal if he didn't win.

I remember that as we were driving to school that morning he told me, "But, I just really want to win, Mama."  I told him that I understood, because we all like to win and nobody likes to lose.  But, that he should remember that if someone else won, that he should be happy for them and congratulate them, because they, too, had probably worked hard on the words.

After he won, we had a fun night of celebrating at home as a family.  We enjoyed a movie night and ate his favorite dinner.  And then we began practicing for the big-boy spelling bee...the district-wide bee with a real trophy up for grabs and everything.

Ayden is a naturally good speller.  I'd like to take credit for it, but its nothing but a gift from the Lord.  Seriously, its like to boy sees a word (or any other piece of information, for that matter), and then, its just there.  Like, forever.

So, we practiced a little most nights, spelling a few words here and there each time.  I knew that they had made it most of the way through the first grade list at school, and he was able to spell all of the words on his list, so we really focused on the second grade list.  You know, because they would move to that one if they exhausted the first grade words and still hadn't determined a winner.

The "wh-" words and "been" gave Ayden a little trouble, so the last few days, we practiced those extra.  I had him spell all the trouble words on the morning of the spelling bee, and he spelled every single one of them correctly.

He was ready.

I tucked a note in his lunchbox, packed his backpack with a few books to help pass the time, dressed him in a nice church-y outfit, and took him to meet the bus at the school with a kiss and hug and a reminder that Daddy and I would be there when it was time for first grade. 

And, we were.  Video camera and camera in hand.  And, fresh from the prayers we had just uttered on Ayden's behalf.  Not prayers for him to win, but prayers that he would have a happy heart no matter the outcome.

We were ready to capture the moment as he took his place with the other first graders.  He breezed through the first two practice rounds.  He even remembered to say the letters nice and slowly, like his Daddy had said.  Then, it was time for the real deal.

I wanted him to win, ya'll.  I couldn't help it.  My mama's heart wanted to see him succeed and win.  It comes with the mama territory.

But, he didn't win. 

In fact, he missed his very first word. 

A word he knew how to spell.  A word he's spelled correctly somewhere around a zillion times.  As the caller told him that he'd spelled the word incorrectly, shock registered on his face.  Then, his eyes found mine as he came back to his seat, eliminated.  My heart broke for my boy.  He was so disappointed.  He'd been so nervous (although he says he wasn't) that he didn't even realize he'd spelled it wrong.

He sat on my lap and said, "I just forgot, Mama.  I just forgot.  And, I really wanted to win a medal."  Ahhh.  Arrow straight to my heart.  My heart hurt for him.

But, I was so proud of him.  You see, Ayden's tendency is to act kind of ugly when he loses.  To pout and say mean things.  But, he didn't this time.  Don't get me wrong, he was incredibly disappointed to have lost.  But, he made us so proud by the way he handled himself.

You see, one of the character qualities Jesse and I have been praying specifically over Ayden this year is that he would learn to both win and lose gracefully.  Of course, losing isn't fun.  But, its part of life.  And we want Ayden to have integrity and honor as his character no matter the situation.

So, I couldn't have been more excited to see this change in his heart.  Because, when we look back in 20 years, it won't matter if Ayden won or lost the spelling bee.  Thats why his character is our concern.  We want him (and all of our children) to grow up to live lives that bring honor and glory to the Lord.  And, my sweet boy, took a step in the right direction.

I'm so thankful to be his mom.

Aha!

My Camden boy is, well, so Camden!!  He is one-of-a-kind for sure!  He definitely adds a specific dynamic to our family.

He does this thing where he cuts his eyes at you, which generally signals that he's getting ready to do something he shouldn't.

When someone {especially a stranger} speaks to him in public, he's likely to cross his arms and look halfway over at them with his eyes partially rolled and his mouth puckered to the side.  Its hard to describe, but if you've seen it, you know.

He's also completely random....to the unseen eye.

But, I think I've figured {at least part of} it out.

The boy wakes up thinking about the exact same thing he was thinking when he went to sleep.

For example:

This morning, he was {as he is every morning, no matter the time} waiting for me to get up so he could do the same.  No "Good morning" or anything like that.  Nope.  He says, "I threw my dinner in the trash last night.  I wasn't supposed to do that, so my brothers got suckers because they ate their dinner all gone, but I had to go to bed because I threw my dinner in the trash."

Good morning to you, too, son.

The next statement, about 45 seconds later, had something to do with boys being tall, tall, taller, and baby sisters being little because they are babies.

Then, he wanted tea to drink with his lunch today, but I never got around to making it before nap time.  So, after a 2 1/2 hour nap, he emerged from his bedroom and promptly began to cry because he wanted tea.

Oh, and as a side note, he likes to run around in his underwear.

Just Another Day in Paradise

Whew. Life as a family of 6 is busy. And fun. And adventurous. And {slightly} chaotic. Okay, completely chaotic. But, its OUR chaos and we wouldn't have it any other way.

Sometimes, Jess and I just meet eyes over the top of our kids' heads {and whatever mess they've just made}, and give each other THE LOOK. You know, the one that says, "Don't you dare laugh. These are YOUR children. I mean it. No laughing. Seriously." And, then you decide its more fun to laugh anyway.

During the course of today:

-we have stopped Laney Kate from crawling to and digging in the trash can approximately 14 times

-we have cleaned up Laney Kate's spit up messes from the floor around 5 times

-we have pulled a crawling Laney Kate away from a place she shouldn't be (ie, the bathroom (left open by a brother), the boys' bedroom, the fireplace, the stove, the screen door (left open by a brother)), somewhere in the ballpark of 64 times

-we have fished minute particles of whatever Laney Kate can find to stick in her mouth about 3 times

-I grocery shopped for our family of 6 (including coupons and ad matches, having the oil changed, and filling up the gas tank...hey, at least Wal-Mart is a one-stop shopping experience!)

-ran children to and from school

-prepared Valentines

-staunched the bleeding on Ayden's face after he "pretended" to shave like Daddy in the tub and cut his lip for real

-studied for the spelling bee with Ayden

-practiced Landon's nursery rhyme he has to memorize for school

-made dinner with the help of my little chef, Cams

-wiped {and suctioned out} Laney Kate's nose

-gave baths

And, then we looked at each other and wondered why we are so tired tonight?

But, what a fun day we've had. The boys played with their Play-Doh for a record amount of time before arguing, and then it was only brief. Laney Kate is a crawling, pulling up, teething little 8 1/2 month old with a sweet disposition and the prettiest smile EVA. Dinner was NOT a battle. And, tomorrow is the last day of school before our first 4 day weekend.

I'd say we're pretty blessed.

Ready for sleep.

But, definitely blessed.

Ayden's 7th Birthday

Dear Ayden, Seven years old! My goodness. I have to just stop and take it all in. Seven. I can't believe you are already seven years old. Wasn't it just yesterday that Daddy and I first held you in our arms? I know I say somehing similar every year, but it seems like every passing year goes faster than the one before. The past year has been full of big events! You became a big brother yet again to our precious Laney Kate. You graduated from Kindergarten. And we made the big move back to Missouri, where you started a new school with a new teacher and new friends. And, you have handled it all like a champ. You love and dote on Laney Kate and help me with her and your brothers. You were sad to leave your school and Mrs. Tracy and your friends in Jacksonville, but you were so brave to go to Pineville Primary with Mrs. Burch and you have made some great new buddies. I have been so proud of you through it all!! Since you started first grade in August, you've lost four teeth. In fact, you have three empty spaces in the front right now. I tried to get you to sing "All I Want For Christmas is My Two Front Teeth" but you weren't so sure... ;) You still have the same tender heart as always. Sometimes, we have to peel back the attitude to see it, but it's there just the same. You like to make the people you love happy, and you are quick to offer encouraging words. Sometimes I wish you would be a little easier on yourself and take encouragement as well as you give it, but I know that you come by your perfectionist tendencies honestly, and we'll just work through that together. ;) Your favorite hobby of the past year has been Legos. Wow. First, it was Star Wars and Pirates of the Carribbean Lego sets, and now it's Batman and Ninjago. It's so fun to watch you create with them. You just got your first Batman set for Christmas, but you've been creating those characters for months using the pieces you already had. Your friends are into Legos, too. At Parsons last year and the beginning of this one, Mrs. Tracy had to ban all Legos from school because the boys weren't paying attention and were arguing over them. A few weeks ago, you went to Buffalo Creek with Daddy and after you were in bed that night, he told me that after the program, you had disappeared to the fellowship hall with the other boys your age. When he went to get you, he said there you all were, gathered around a table playing with the Legos you had ALL pulled out of your pockets. We laughed and smiled at the fun you had. You still love to draw, too. Daddy and I can barely write our own names....so we both say you didn't get your talent from us. But, Mr. Rusty says you have a natural ability, and, not to brag, but I agree. ;). You will sometimes sit for an hour drawing out a whole story scene, using up every inch of the paper, front and back. You are so funny. Most times, you don't mean to be, which makes it even funnier. But lately, you are into joke telling. You make most of them up, and to be perfectly honest, most don't make a lick of sense, but when you laugh at your own punchline, it makes me smile. You are beginning to be very curious about Jesus and what it means to be a Christian. Daddy and I are praying every day for your (and your brothers' and sister's) salvation. The wheels are turning and I know the day of yor salvation will be soon. You think (on some days) that you'll grow up and be a preacher like Daddy. You understand the importance of telling others abouthe Lord. This morning, your Daddy was speaking at FCA, and you very tenderly explained to your brothers what he was doing and why. A very special moment for your Mama to hear, for sure. Oh buddy, I love you Soooooo much!!! You melt my heart when you still want to snuggle with me. You are such a sweet boy, telling me and the rest of our family that you love us at random times of the day, every day. I am so very proud of you and the big boy that you've grown up to be. I am so excited to see what the year ahead holds for us. In a blink, it will be your 8th birthday. But, for now, let's enjoy every scone of seven. Have the happiest of birthdays, buddy. I love you to he moon and back....times infinity!!! Mama

Focusing on the eternal

I've been pretty quiet on my blog lately (for all 3 people or so who read it ;) ).  To be honest, I just can't talk (or write, I guess would be more of an accurate statement), about the things that are going on in our lives right now.  Maybe one day, but right now its just too raw and painful.  I can say this, though: the Lord continues to teach me, to comfort me, to carry me, to love me, to be what I need when I need all the time.  I'm more in love with my husband than ever before and I am filled with thankfulness for our family.

I finished up a Bible study that I was doing through the summer and felt drawn to the book of James as my next study.  I love James.  Talk about convicting.  All that talk about the tongue.  Yikes.  Its also the book from which my favorite Miss Kim-ism is found: Whats down in the well comes up in the bucket.  Yep, James is definitely a doozy.  But, I love it.  Even when it steps on my toes and brings conviction to my heart.  Because, God's Word tells me that he disciplines and rebukes those He loves (Rev. 3:19).

So, with all that being said, I've been study for about a week and have made it all the way to verse 11 in chapter 1.  And today, as I read verses 9-11 for the first time, I was like...ummm, okay, soooo.....what do You want me to take away from this?? 

Funny I should ask.

The Lord started moving my pen across the page of my notebook and pouring out His truth into my heart.  The end result?  Things are so temporary.  We get so wrapped up in our "stuff" that we forget that it ain't goin' with us.  But, do you know what is eternal?  Well, lots of things, but 4 specific ones are etched onto my heart.

Their names are Ayden Parker, Landon Ryan, Camden Isaiah, and Laney Kate.

4 precious babies entrusted to Jesse and I.  Its our responsibility to teach them about eternity.  To teach them that Jesus loves them so very much that he stretched out his hands on the cross and took the punishment for their (and mine, and your) sin.  All so that we would have a way to spend all of eternity with Him. 

We beg God for the day of our children's salvations.  We anticipate eagerly the way God will use each of them in His kingdom, not just as adults but from the moment they ask Him to come and live in their sweet little hearts.

Yes, Lord.

And, so, it makes me wonder.  Do you know Him?  If you don't know Him, I sure would love to tell you about what He's done for me and in me and through me and with me.

To Jesse

10 years ago today I was nervously sitting as my hair was done and makeup was applied...as the white gown went over my head and the veil was clipped to my hair.  After waiting for what seemed like to me the longest time ever in all my 19 years, my wedding day had arrived.  As the time for the ceremony grew near, the reality of what I was doing became more and more clear; to pledge forever to this man who had captured my heart as a 16 year old girl.  Needless to say, I was incredibly nervous.

I shouldn't have been.

Today, Jesse and I are celebrating 10 years of marriage.  I'm still trying to figure out how we've had time for an entire decade to pass, but here we are...4 babies and 10 years later...and I'm more in love with my man than ever before.

We've had so many memories together...happy, sad, funny, mad.  Jess, remember when ___ spent the night with us and had a tummy ache and what happened then?  I'll never forget that...and I wonder if the neighbors ever missed that shovel?  Remember when the toilet  broke and water started spraying everywhere?  Not so funny at the time, but I bet our faces and panic would have been comical to see!  When I look back, I remember so many funny things.  And, I want to say thank you.  Thank you for teaching me that life is fun...funny even, and that my serious self can laugh - at myself or the situation or along with you.  We've laughed a lot over the years.

As we talked last night, you told me you were glad it was me.  I'm glad, too.  Because there isn't anyone else I want to travel this journey with but you.  I remember when we found out that Ayden, Landon, Camden, and Laney Kate were each on their way.  I remember when each of them arrived.  When we brought Ayden home and weren't really sure what we were doing but figured it out together.  Then a little brother for him in Landon.  Our two surprises, first Camden and then Laney Kate.  I couldn't ask for a better Daddy for them.  Thank you for loving them.

But, more than anything, thank you for loving the Lord.  As we face our future, you encourage me to seek the Lord for myself, but you set an example for me to follow.  Your passion for Jesus is the best thing about you.  I don't know if I've ever told you this, but one of my favorite things to do is to watch you worship.  Your surrender and sincerity and desire to serve and be pleasing to the Lord are evident in your life anyway, but even more so in your worship.  I know that worship is a passion we both have and that we both believe worship isn't something we do when we sing, but a lifestyle we live.  And you do.  Your life is a life of worship.  So many times you pray that you would bring honor and glory only to the Lord.  And you do.

There are so many things to share...so many things to remember - more than I could ever write about.  But, you, Jesse LeRoy Ball are my knight in shining armor, my hero, my very best friend, my confidante, my prayer warrior, and the love of my life.  As we continue on this journey together, I can't wait to see what the years hold for us.  There's no one I'd rather go with. 

I love you.

Cassie

Happy 3rd Birthday, Camden

Dear Camden,
Today you are three years old!!  My goodness!  Where has the time gone?  I can't believe you are already such a big boy!  Today, for the first time, Daddy has to be gone on your birthday.  But, Grammy gets to be here with us!  We are going to go see Brave for your special day.
The last year has brought two big milestones for you...you are potty trained and you are a big brother.  Mama was not looking forward to potty training because, well, both of your big brothers were really hard.  And, when we first started, you were NOT excited.  You would cry every time I put you on the potty.  But after you figured out what you were supposed to do, it was a breeze.  I think after about 2 weeks you stopped having accidents completely.  Whew!  Mama will be forever grateful to you for being so easy. :)
You also became a big brother just 5 weeks ago to little Laney Kate.  You have handled it so well.  You aren't too jealous of your little sister and you like to love on her with Ayden and Landon.  You have this way of rubbing your cheek on her head and looking up at me with the sly little grin that you have...and its sweet and spicy all at the same time!  None of you boys like it when she cries, and you'll say something like, "Whatsa matter, sweet girl?" or "Don't cry, baby, don't cry."  You are going to be a great big brother!
You love Ayden and Landon, too.  Some days you and Landon, especially, fight like cats and dogs, but you really are the best of friends and playmates.  We are out of our school time routine now that its summer, but you two spent most mornings playing together while Ayden was at school.  You are both very imaginative!  You like to reenact movie scenes (go figure!).  The most popular is from The Lion King.  Landon will stand up on the back of the chair (which is actually against our rules...just sayin') and you will climb below and stretch out your arms.  Then Landon will grab your arms with his hands and you'll look up and say, "Scar, brother, help me!"  Landon will say, "Nevah!!!" and then throw your arms away from him, just like Scar did to Mufasa when he threw him over the cliff.  Then, you'll switch and you will be Scar.  It is so funny!  But, you'll never do it when I want you to, so not too many people have seen you.  You also repeat lines and phrases from other movies....all of you boys most definitely get that trait from your Daddy.  He only has to watch a movie once before he's got down all the lines and quotes.
Speaking of Daddy, you are a Daddy's boy!  Your favorite time of day is when Daddy gets home from work and gets down in the floor to wrestle with you boys.  He just taught you how to do an arm bar...I don't even really know what that means, but Daddy is proud! ;)  You like to sit on his lap with your "night-night" at night and snuggle with him.  I always joke that you save your limited amount of sweetness each day for your Daddy!  You'll be the most ornery little boy I've ever seen all day long, and the minute you see your Daddy you become ooey-gooey sweetness, looking up at him with adoring eyes and telling him you love him and giving him sweet kisses and hugs!
You also like to sing.  Sometimes in a sweet voice and sometimes in one thats, well, scary.  Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Linda are your Sunday School teachers and they sing Jesus Loves Me and Jesus Loves the Little Children with you a lot...so you like those.  You also learn songs from Ayden and Landon that they've learned in preschool choir.  And, lately, all three of you boys have fallen in love with God's Not Dead by the Newsboys and you sing it nonstop.  Grammy has the Newsboys cd, so since she's been here with us, you all three want to listen to it over and over and over every time we are in her van.  And you all know the whole song...not to mention a few others that you've picked up from the same cd.  It makes my heart happy to hear you sing about Jesus at such a young age.
You are a very smart little boy...sometimes a little too smart for your own good, because you get yourself into trouble.  I often say that its a good thing you're so funny, because I'm not sure the two of us would survive one another otherwise.  Although, you haven't quite figured out that you can't repeat everything that I say to you....like, its not okay for you to tell me not to sass you...or to point your finger at me.  But, just when I think I'm absolutely at the end of my rope with you, you'll do something funny and distract me.  Grammy watched all of you boys a couple of weeks ago so I could have a girls' night and you were really acting up.  Finally, she told you that if you did ___ again, she was going to spank your bottom and send you to bed....and she meant it!  Your response?  "Oohh, that's not good."  She said she totally cracked up and lost all control.  But you are very smart!!  You can count to 14, know lots of letters and are learning their sounds, you know your colors and most shapes, right and left, opposites, and you are a puzzle master.  You don't particularly like to sit still and read, but every once in a while we get to enjoy a book together. 
You L-O-V-E anything that has to do with superheroes...Spiderman, Iron Man, Hulk, Captain America, Thor...and others that I don't even know about.  You also like Toy Story toys and Thomas the Train toys.  You like to dress up in your superhero costumes.  Your cowboy boots are an essential part of your everyday wardrobe.  You like to eat mac and cheese, pizza, chicken nuggets, and peanut butter and jelly, and all kinds of fruit...but not much else.  You love bathtime but do NOT want water in your eyes and cry and call it "the big water" when that happens.  You like to help me brush my hair and to wear Daddy's deodorant and cologne.  You sometimes fight with your brothers but ask for them when they're not around.  You are fearless, yet say that lots of things scare you.  You challenge me, drive me wild, make me wonder if we're going to survive until you reach adulthood, and melt me heart with a look, an "I love you," or a kiss.  You are all big boy, but you still like to snuggle in your Mama's lap.  And that makes your Mama happy.
I don't know what the next year will hold, but I do know that I'm looking forward to how you'll grow and change.  I love you so much, little man.  Thank you for being you.
Love,
Mama

When life stings

I have so many things to be thankful for.  A wonderful, supportive, loving, kind, compassionate husband who daily reassures me of his love for me and our family and seeks to lead us as God leads him.  Three amazing, ornery, smart, and sweet little boys who drive me crazy and challenge me often, but who I love and wouldn't change for the world.  A new addition on the way...of the female gender, and who our family can't wait to meet, hold, cuddle, and love.

I have parents, siblings, in laws, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins who love and support us and God's call on our family even from a distance.  They encourage and pray for us, and we are so thankful.  We have students that I think the world of.  They rub my belly, stop by our house, and have grown deeper in their faith before our eyes.  I have sweeter friendships than I have ever experienced in this life.  Godly women who I can laugh and cry with, pray and study with, and enjoy doing life with.

I have a roof over my head, food to eat, money to pay our bills, a car to drive, and clothes to wear (although, admittedly, they are getting a little snug in the belly region...hmmm....wonder why that is?).

When I think about all the good gifts the Lord has given me, it's easy to love Him.  To serve Him.  To offer Him praise.

But, what about the times when life hurts?

My little sister is suffering with the sudden loss of her father-in-law.  My sweet friend is walking through the illness of a grandparent and another of a spouse.  I have a heaviness in my own spirit and some things that I am struggling with daily.  What about then?

God is teaching me just how much He can teach me during the times when life stings.  Its a choice I have...to wallow in self-pity, asking "Why? Why, me? Why now? Why this?"  Or, to trust in Him and His plan and His sovereignty, even when I don't understand why. 

When I was growing up, I remember hearing about God taking people to the woodshed.  I've had a similar experience this week.  I'm so thankful that God disciplines those He loves (Rev. 3:19).  He revealed to me that I've had the wrong mindset about trials, temptations, and thorns.  His Word tells me that if I want to follow Him, I must pick up my cross DAILY (Matt. 16:24).  He also promises that His power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor. 12:9).  He tells me that He knows the plans He has for me (Jer. 29:11) and that He will work all things together for my good (Rom. 8:28).  I could go on.

The point is, who would each of us be without the trials, tribulations, and thorns that come into our lives?  As a teenager, our family went through a pretty rocky time.  Yet, so many times, I've heard my mom say that she is thankful, because it was during that time that Jesus became real to us.  Its often at the point where we reach the end of ourselves and have no other option other than to trust in the Lord that He becomes real to us. 

I am working my way through the "Brave" Bible study by Angela Thomas, and this week has been all about thorns in life.  So, in closing, here are a few things that have really stuck out to me. "Do you need a fresh reminder of God's grace for your thorn?  Sufficient means God is enough - not almost enough or barely enough but fully and completely enough. ...God wants us to see His power.  He wants us to worship Him as master of every circumstance.  He wants us to trust that His power is being perfected through us. ...God is all-powerful, and when He brings His power to your weakness, buckle up.  You will see mountains move and hearts of stone made new."

Yes, Lord.  Today I choose to walk in Your truth.  Even though life stings sometimes.

Because I know you're dying to know...

Today I burned my pregnant belly on the stove as I tried to reach into the cabinet above it for an ingredient I needed for dinner. It really hurt.

Camden's new favorite thing to tell me is that he doesn't love me..."now cry." But, when I pour on the fake tears, he just smiles and laughs and says, "I still don't love you."

Camden does NOT play that game with his daddy, for whom he saves approximately 90% of his love, devotion, kisses, hugs, and sweetness.

I'm not kidding.

But, it makes it extra sweet when I get a little lovin' and I know that little stinker loves his Mama.

Landon, Ayden, and I are going to see Disney on Ice later this week, but at first, Ayden wasn't sure he wanted to attend, because he "rather thought it might have too much drama." His own words, folks.

Landon very proudly sang, "Zaccheus was a wee little man..." to all passerby in Target today. Complete with hand motions. Very endearing, if you ask me.

I had the rudest cashier at Wal-Mart today that I believe I have ever encountered. Ugly words and retorts were bubbling up, but I did not give in. Thanks, Lord.

Landon is now enrolled in preschool. *Sigh* My second baby leaving me for school. *Tear* I am not ready for him to go...but he was ready to stay today!

All three of the boys refused to even taste their dinner tonight. I know, I know....shocker! If it wasn't for those darn "begetables" I insist on putting in everything.

Camden has started answering questions I (or others) ask him, with "Uhh, I guess." Maybe its just me, but its so funny coming from his little 2 year old self...and such a perfect picture of his independent and stubborn personality. He also frequently growls at people....he ranges from being a dinosaur to a monster to a lion and, occasionally something really sweet that would never growl at people in real life.

Ayden's favorite book to read at night is his Bible. Love this! Tonight we read about when God sent fire from heaven to consume Elijah's sacrifice.

Did I mention I burned my belly? That means its too big!!

When Landon gets really mad at one of his brothers, he calls them a baby. Fightin' words, for sure. I think he might have called Camden a baby about 68 times today.

Landon and Camden have become puzzle masters. They play with their puzzles almost as much as they do with their toys during the day.

I am so thankful to be able to spend the days at home with these crazy, wonderful kiddos. I'm glad I'm not missing all these silly and serious and frustrating and overwhelming and sweet and tender moments.

Happy 4th Birthday, Landon Ryan Ball!

Dear Landy,


Oh my goodness!! Today is finally your birthday and you are four years old!! How we've been waiting for today to come! This is the first time you've really gotten excited over your birthday coming and you have proudly announced over and over that you will be four years old! I asked you if you would like Daddy and Mama to get you something for your birthday and you said, "Umm, a cake!" I laughed and asked if maybe you'd like a special toy or something just for you, and your response? "A cake, with CANDLES! My friends will sing 'Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday, dear Landon, Happy birthday to you' and then I will blow the candle out, like this (insert blowing out the candles whoosh)!"


Tonight, we will have our family birthday dinner of chicken scampi, because that is a favorite of yours and your brothers right now. You will get to eat on our special birthday plate, and Daddy will say a special prayer for you before dinner. Then, this weekend, you get to have a birthday party with all your special friends and aunts and uncles of the heart. :) You picked a Toy Story 3 theme and were so excited as we bought the matching paper goods.


You are the sweetest four year old boy! My little Landy. You've always been one to melt hearts with your smile, and my oh my, you can still pull that off!! I will just be sitting in a chair or making dinner or some other simple task and you'll come over to me and give me a hug or rub my arm or leg or very pregnant belly and smile that Landon smile up at me. Then you'll give me a kiss and say, "I love you, Mama." Sometimes you even tack on, "you're a good girl," to the end.


You are a big helper for Mama, always wanting to be in the kitchen to watch me cook, helping me pick up toys in your bedroom. You love your big brother, Ayden, and your little brother, Camden. You love to follow Ayden around and do what he does, but you also like to play with your little close-in-age playmate. It seems like you are either playing together like the two sweetest boys you've ever seen, or you are fighting like cats and dogs. But, you do love each other and have really learned to play well together a lot of the time.


You will be a good big brother to your new little sister in just a few months. You are so funny about it. If we point to my belly and ask whats inside, you tell us its a baby. But, then, you point to your own belly and say, "this is my sister!" I know she will feel like a precious part of our family when she gets some of your sweet kisses on her forehead.


Right now, your imagination is taking off! You and Ayden like to play pretend with the pirate ships. You will load the ships up with plastic army men, designating the good guys and bad guys and staging a whole, dramatic scene. You also build Gongman City nearly everyday out of some type of block: our Mega blocks, alphabet blocks, legos, trio blocks, the wooden blocks Daddy made you...or a combination of all. Gongman City is the place where the evil peacock Shen lives on Kung Fu Panda 2, and you love to build that tower. Anytime you build anything, you always run out and tell me to come look at what you made. When I get there, you hold out your hand and point to your creation and excitedly say, "See, see, see, see?"


You also still love to play with your trains and you love yourself some Toy Story and Cars. Its rare that we leave the house without a Lightning McQueen stuffed in your pocket. In fact, I think you might have had one in EACH pocket when we went to church Sunday night. But, generally, you need that certain ONE....don't ask me which, because all of our 273 Lightning McQueen cars look exactly the same to me. But, there's always a certain one you want, and you'll painstakingly sift through the bin of cars until you find just the right one.


You enjoy coloring and puzzles and the occasional book. Now that Ayden is reading, you prefer to sit in my lap and listen to him read over sitting down and letting me read to you. But thats okay. The other day, you were "reading" to Camden, and I was one proud Mama to see you tracking that print, line by line from left to right. Mmmhmmm, your teacher Mama was cheering you on over your shoulder.


You love your Daddy SOOOO much! I know that all of my boys love me, but you definitely all have a special connection with your Daddy, too. And, you have the best, you know. He loves to come home and wrestle with his boys or get down on the floor and play cars or trains or ships or puzzles or whatever else you come up with to do. Your Daddy sets a good example for you and your brothers, because he loves Jesus, he loves your Mama, he loves his boys (and soon daughter), and he loves student ministry and students. In that order, which is the way it should be.


You also love church. Sundays and Wednesdays are your favorite days and you get so excited when you know its church time. Mr. David and Mrs. Eileen are your Sunday School teachers, and you run in each Sunday and give them a big, "Hi!" On Wednesdays, you are forever talking about how you like Mr. Josh and you sing the songs you learn in preschool choir with gusto. The latest is Zaccheus, and we've had fun telling him to come down out of that tree! And, of course, our sweet Mrs. Jones, who teaches you on Wednesday nights. You love each other and she loves to teach you and your friends about Jesus.


This year, you will get to start preschool! Ah!! I'm not sure if I'm ready for that just yet, but I know you will love it! Sometimes you still ask if you can go to school with Ayden, so I know that you'll be ready when its your turn next year. And, of course, you are so very smart!! I still think of you as my itty-bitty Landy-boy, but the truth is, you are getting to be a big boy and you are ready to do big boy things.


You have learned so much over the past year. You are (finally) potty trained; you can get undressed and help dress yourself; put on your shoes; identify shapes, colors, some numbers, and lots of letters; put together puzzles; draw circles; speak much more clearly; and so many other things, I can't even list them all!


Sometimes, you discipline yourself. Just today you had to sit in time out for dumping Camden's puzzle on the floor (time-outs are becoming more and more rare, though), and after you sat the appropriate time, we had our typical talk about why you had to sit there, being kind to our brothers, and then you apologized to Cam and gave him a hug. A few minutes later, I was busy working on housework and caught a glimpse of you....back in time out. You sat yourself down there for a few more minutes, and as I watched from around the corner, got back up to play when you were done. You've also been known to put yourself to bed if you get tired. We'll wonder where you are and go looking, and find you sound asleep in your bed.


Speaking of beds, you and your brothers just got new bunk beds. A full size on the bottom for you and Camden, and a twin on top for Ayden. You are all sharing a room now as we prepare for the arrival of Baby Girl Ball, but you are all handling the change very well. You like being in with your big brother, and he likes the company. The only downfall is that the three of you don't always go quickly to sleep at bedtime...but we'll keep working on that. ;)


Well, Landy, I hope you have a wonderful birthday. I hope you feel special and loved and cherished, because you are. Daddy, Mama, Ayden, and Camden love you sooo much. And, Jesus loves you even more than us!! I can't wait to see what the next year holds for you.


Love,
Mama