Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Delayed Obedience

Ok, so there are things with each of our boys that we are working on. Camden...well, Camden is learning to eat baby food and baby puffs and drink out of a cup. Landon has been introduced to the time out chair and is finding that when he screams or takes things from his brothers he has to spend a little time in the time out chair. With Ayden, we want him to obey the first time we ask him something...not to repeat ourselves over and over. He does really well with this at times, but other times I'm almost certain the look on his face means, "Seriously, I don't have time to listen right now...I'm playing!" But through the process of teaching him to obey the first time, an old phrase has come to mind. Miss Kim used to say "Delayed obedience is disobedience." Boy, looking back now I'll bet Jill and Garrett used to hate hearing that!! But, its SO true! And, I've found myself saying the same thing to Ayden recently. I was feeling kind of proud of myself to be able to impart Miss Kim Wisdom to my children...but then God used my VERY OWN words to teach me a lesson! How many times do I choose to obey Him right away...the very first time He asks? Ouch!! Sometimes I find myself pleasing me and the others around me more than I work to please my Father. Sometimes I'm afraid of what He's asking of me and try to reason with Him. Sometimes I put other people or things before Him. But, He, ever so gently, reminded me that delayed obedience is disobedience. And, really, that's the black and the white of it. I wonder what our lives would look like if we always obeyed immediately?

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Miles to Go

Tonight was the first night of Ladies Night Out - East. Imagine almost 50 women, most young moms and a couple with infants, crammed into a living room and kitchen, with pens poised, journals open, and hearts expectant to hear God's voice. That's what I got to experience tonight. Today has been a good day with the Lord. I'm so thankful that He led me to a place where I can be mentored as a wife and mother. To be challenged with questions of "What tone do you set for your home?" and "What kind of mother do you want to be?" Although God has already been teaching me much in this area, I was so encouraged and challenged as a sweet woman took the time to teach us truths she has learned from God's word over the years. I have much running through my mind tonight, and many ideas I am praying about implementing. I want to be more focused on parenting to the heart of my boys and training their hearts while building their character. Even though they are young, I see areas that they excel in, and others that need some tweaking. My prayer through it all is that I can be transparent with them...that they can see how God's word is applicable to our lives and to see it lived out each day...and that when we stumble and fall, our Father is quick to pick us up, dust us off, and set us back on the course.
As we drove home tonight, I shared that I so enjoy LNO because its very practical...right at the place my life is...and God is teaching me about practicality right now...how a simple, childlike view of Him could alter my thinking forever...and how the principles in His word are practical...they don't need to be complicated...they can be used, without being altered...just as they are. I'm a work in progress, but so thankful He considers me worthy...

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Nothin' Like Kids...

This has been a long week. Not exactly bad...just long....

Camden spent Monday and Tuesday wanting to be held all day.

Ayden and Landon have alternated between playing together like the sweet boys they are and fighting like cats and dogs over the Lightning McQueen car (we have several...but they both want THE ONE).

I heard some bad news last night about an old classmate.

So...not a terrible week by any means...just long...

But then I put the boys to bed. As I put Camden down in his cradle he grinned up at me and I had the urge to pick him up and hold him all night. Then I went to say prayers with Ayden and Landon. First, Ayden quoted the verse we've been teaching him...
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this us right. Ephesians 6:1"
Then his prayer thanking God for his family, that he got to go to church, for his bed and house and toys...and when he said "Amen" Landon followed suit with his version, "Meeemen!"
Andd then? We sang songs to the Lord together.

Just what I needed....

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Yay for Girls Night!!

Tonight I got to go out with girls. All girls. Just girls. Girls, glorious girls. I love girl time! Tomorrow is my birthday and another friend just had one, so we went out tonight to celebrate. Mimi's never saw it coming....they were probably glad to see us go! I had a splendiferous time! Its nice to have friends. Its nice to feel welcomed into a circle. Its nice to have people you can share struggles and high points with. People who will hold you accountable in your walk with the Lord. People who also love Him and desire to walk with Him daily. I'm blessed to be called a friend of these special girls. Can't wait til next time!!

Monday, January 4, 2010

To Ayden

Dear Ayden,
Today you are 4 years old!! Where has the time gone? You are not a baby anymore...and if I forget to tell you that you're a big boy, you are quick to remind me. You have done a lot of growing up this past year. You are now (finally) completely potty trained. Your imagination has taken off and you like to play pretend. You brush your own teeth, get yourself dressed, and put on your own shoes. You've had to deal with a lot of changes this last year, too. You became a big brother for the second time. We moved away from Missouri. You stopped spending every day with Grammy when we moved and started staying home with me. I think you've handled it all really well. But it's been the hardest on you because Landon and Camden aren't old enough to understand what's going on.
You are the best big brother in the world. You take care of your brothers. You give them hugs and kisses. You protect them. You play with them and share (most of the time) with them. Yesterday as I was getting ready for church Camden was laying on my bed crying. So you climbed up and layed down beside him and sang him a song that you made up about not crying. It worked like magic as he stopped crying and looked up at you and smiled. I love the relationship you have with your brothers and I pray it continues.
You have also began to be curious about the Lord, asking me questions and telling me things you have learned. For the longest time when I would ask you what you learned in Sunday School, your answer would be "God." But now when I ask, you recite your whole story. You love to go to "class" with Miss Melody and Miss Terri and Mr. David. You usually run in and give Miss Melody a big hug. I was so proud of you yesterday when I worked in your class during the extended session and heard you answering the questions about King Soloman building a church for the people to sing songs to God in. Then you sang a song that you sing to God. One you learned about baby Jesus in preschool choir: Christmas bells are ringing, Children now are singing, Jesus baby Jesus, was born on Christmas day.
You are a performer and yet you're not. Sometimes you will sing or dance or quote movies (you get that from daddy) and you want us to watch and clap at the end. Other times, like when your preschool choir sang in front of the church, you want nothing to do with it. Grammy, Poppy, and I took you to see the Alvin and the Chipmunks Squeakquel while we were in MO for Christmas. You were dancing along with the music but I didn't want to tell you I noticed because I was afraid you would stop.
Your love language is physical touch. You love to climb on my lap and snuggle under a blanket, especially if one of your movies is on. You like to hold hands, give hugs, and kisses. You tell me you love me all the time...I never get tired of hearing it. Last night you told Daddy that you loved him...you don't tell him as much...and it melted his heart.
You are so much like your Daddy. You might look like me and the Griffiths, but there's no mistaking who your Daddy is. You have the same personality, the same quick temper, the same mannerisms, the same ability to quote a movie after seeing it once, the same thumb-sucking habit Daddy had when he was your age. One of these days, I know you'll understand that Daddy tries to be like his Daddy...and that you'll make the decision to follow him as well.
You told me when you turn 4, you'll go to school. You could go to preschool this fall, but Daddy and I are still praying about it. On a personal note, I'm not sure momma is ready for you to be gone. It makes my heart heart that you are getting so big. But, I'm also so very proud of the little boy you're growing up to be. Tonight we are having a big birthday party with friends from church. You are so excited and you have been asking me if its your birthday yet. Well, big boy, today is the day. Right now you are snuggled up in my bed with your Daddy. You came in about 6:30 this morning. I'd like to snuggle with you...but I promised you pancakes for breakfast. I love you more than words can say. I can't wait to see how you continue to grow this next year. Have a wonderful day.
Love,
Momma

Sunday, January 3, 2010

A Very Merry Christmas

Well, we're back home after ten glorious days spent with our friends and family in McDonald County. After all those hours on the road, there's nothing quite like topping the hill and seeing the U of A...and then Rogers...Bentonville...Bella Vista...the Jane Wal-Mart...Rains Road...White Bluff Road...rounding the corner and seeing the farm....knowing we're on the dirt road and can unbuckle the boys and let them finish the last mile on our laps...and then finally seeing mom and dad's house come into view. I'm getting a little teary eyed now just thinking about it. We were busy and yet not busy and had such a wonderful visit. We even got a white Christmas!! It was a little strange for Jesse and I (and I think mom and dad, too) for us to do our Christmas with the kids at a place other than our own living room...but such a sweet time, too. And, we had picture takers and video takers so we could both enjoy helping and watching the boys open. Of course we started with the Christmas story and I got a lump in my throat as I watched all three of my boys snuggle on their daddy's lap to listen. Santa brought Camden a sit/stand play table thingy thats really cool and makes lots of noise...Landy got a new Buzz Lightyear and a Toy Story chair...and Ayden got the yellow Transformer that he's been asking Santa for. Bless his heart...he's so fun at this age!! As we put him in bed, "Santa" showed up outside the window with a "Ho, Ho, Ho" and a jingle of sleigh bells. Ayden said, "That's not the Santa I know. I'm going to hide!!" and the pulled the blankets over his eyes! It took him a loooong time to fall asleep and he told me that he just couldn't get his eyes to close.

I also got to spend not one, but TWO days with my mom and sisters as we shopped til we dropped. I haven't had the chance to go shopping with anyone other than the boys since we moved to Jacksonville and I so I haven't gotten much in the way of clothes since then. And I was in some serious need! It was so nice to have people to give me opinions, and,.....well, if you're a girl you just know what I mean! I got some cute new clothes and still have a little more Christmas money burnin' a hole in my pocket. Mostly, though, I loved being with mom, Heather, and Katie. It seemed so....normal. I miss those girls!!

A few days before we left we were able to have an early birthday party for Ayden. So much fun! He got a Thomas train track and when he saw it he said "Just what I've always wanted!" He was such a sweet boy and told everyone thank you and gave them hugs as he opened his gifts. He even blew out his candles and smiled when we sang to him... When did he get to be so big?

The night we left my momma made me my favorite dinner...meatloaf...much to the chagrin of most of the rest of the family. This would have been the first year I can remember when my mom didn't cook dinner for my birthday, but she took care of it by cooking that night. As we were all gathered around the table eating, I got the biggest lump in my throat. I kept thinking that it seemed so....normal....I kept coming back to that. Yes, the waterworks started at that point and didn't truly stop until WELL into our drive.

In Sunday School this morning we talked about the plans we make for our lives and how we reconcile that with what God has for us. My life is NOT the life I had planned. I never planned to move away. I never planned to raise my babies anywhere far way from their grandparents. I never planned to reacquaint myself with my niece and nephew every time I visit and vice versa with my kids. I never planned to look forward to a day shopping with adult companions. I never planned for a lot of things. But God did. God asked Jesse and I to be obedient. And He has blessed us for doing so. Making friends is so difficult for me, but God is bringing friends into my life. He is bringing people into our life that love our boys. I don't really know how to put into words what I'm thinking and feeling. Leaving MO this time was hard....really hard. I don't know when we'll get to go back. Thinking it may not be until next Christmas is almost more than I can bear. I've already missed so much....my baby sister has fallen in love since I've been gone, my niece and nephew have reached all kinds of baby milestones. Basically, life has gone on for them...and it has for us. But sometimes it doesn't feel like it should...

I think I'm starting to ramble...So, let's wrap it up. My sweet sweet friend sent me a text message just before we left and again after we got home...and I know she thinks it wasn't a big deal...but it was. Knowing that there are people here who love us is what makes it okay for me to leave my family, even if it is hard. I may not have planned for my life to follow this path, but in the end, as hard as this is to say, would I really want it any other way?