What Am I Going to Do With That Boy?

**Caution: This entry is not for those with weak stomachs.**

We arrived home late last night from a wonderful trip to Missouri for Christmas. We were able to see so many of our friends and family. As we were making the drive there, I commented to Jesse that I thought one of the reasons I was so much more homesick this time was because I was homesick for the slower pace of SW MO. Anyway, as with any long trip, we've had lots of unpacking and organizing to get done today. I was taking a break from that so I could cook dinner, when I saw a sight that still has me grossed out. From the kitchen I saw the bare naked rear end of my youngest cherub.

"Ah!! Where's your diaper?!" I hollered, as I quickly made my way to him. He had taken it off and laid it on the couch. Grinning, he started running towards me. As he did, something fell out of his chubby little hand. Initially, I thought he had broken a piece off of my stuffed snowman that is sitting on the fireplace.

But, no.

As I reached down to pick it (and him) up, I realized that he was holding in his hand...yep, his own feces. I scoured his hands....and mine...a couple of times, before sending him to his daddy in the garage so I could compose myself. I tried to console myself with the fact that it was only a little piece; that it wasn't on the carpet or furniture; that it wasn't (gulp) in his mouth...but I'm afraid that it didn't help much. I am convinced that that child lays in his crib and thinks of new ways to get into trouble and torture his brothers.

At least life isn't dull...

Boys Are Gross!

Why does Camden insist on digging through the trash can like a dog? His two favorite garbage snacks? Licking empty yogurt cups and eating lint from the dryer. Ewww.

Why does Ayden think its cool to imitate every bodily function his daddy does? Sick.

Why does Landon think its cruel and unusual punishment to have his diaper changed? Seriously.

Why do all three of the boys rub things in their hair, dig in the dirt, eat crumbs from the floor, pick their noses, and want to touch me with those same germ infested, totally grody hands?

Why? Because boys are gross.

But, they're all mine. And their hugs, kisses, and I love yous make it all worth it.

As long as they don't touch my mouth with those nasty hands.

I'm kidding. Maybe.

How Camden Spends His Days

When Ayden was a young toddler, I thought he climbed a lot.
But, then Landon came along, and I realized I was wrong. Ayden had climbed some, but Landon was the one who climbed a lot. I had to make sure I kept the chairs pushed in under the table...he could even shimmy up onto his big brother's bed. Really, its almost comical now...well, because now I have Camden.
Camden brings a new definition to the word "monkey." Oh my soul and body, this boys climbs everywhere and on everything!!! As I prepared to write this post, he tried, unsuccessfully to climb up a shelf my brother built me and brought the whole thing toppling down on top of himself. Seriously!! I've climb-proofed all the things that I can, but he still finds a way. He can even pull the chairs out from under the tables already. So, inevitably, if I have to leave the room...you know, to change a load of laundry, or refill a sippy cup, or load the dishwasher, or heaven forbid, use the bathroom, I generally return to Camden on top of something. Please believe me when I say these are just a FEW of the many things he climbs on each and every day.

Crying because he's stuck.

Crying because he's stuck...

but then smiling because he sees the camera.

One of his personal faves.

This one's just easy...

See? He didn't even have to work for it!

This is a millisecond before he let

go, tried to stand up, and

came crashing down.

Camden's Vocabulary

Camden is now 14 1/2 months old. He has a sweet smile with dimples that would melt a heart of stone, and sweet disposition (most of the time). He spends 90% of his day getting into things, making a mess of something I've already cleaned, or climbing. Unlike most children his age, he IS NOT distracted away from a "no-no" by toys. And, he is talking up a storm. Here are (most I think) of the words he can say:

mama
daddy
an attempt at Ayden & Landon
ball
more
milk
bite
bye-bye
hi
night night
no no no (complete with the stern tone and pointed finger)
cup
bath
a version of yes ma'am
out
peek-a-boo
yay
I love you


The last one is my favorite.

Who Do You Want to Be Like?

Last night, we had our first Combustion service with the students, and, well...it totally ROCKED!! I can't wait until the next one! We had about 55 students, which is a high number for us, and, more importantly, we had 5 students make decisions for the Lord!!! Praise His Name!

Jesse asked the questions, "Who do you want to be like?" He even played this old "I Want to Be Like Mike" Gatorade commercial from back in the day. But the point is, who do we want to imitate? In Ephesians 5:1-2, it says:
Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved you and gave himself up for us, as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

To recap his sermon, the world has enough Christians. People who claim the title but look exactly like the world. The world needs to see people living a life of love, just like Jesus. They need to see us letting Jesus be our Savior AND our Lord. Our boss.

As I was listening to Jesse preach, I kept thinking of a person in my life who is truly a picture of this. I want to be like my daddy. Because, my daddy is like his Daddy. My dad loves the Lord, and he is who is all the time. With all people. In every circumstance. He's not ashamed to live out loud for Jesus. He's the one you hear hollerin' from the rafters when someone accepts Jesus or follows in baptism. He's the one making the floor shake because he's jumping up and down as he worships. He's the one we (jokingly) avoid asking to pray for the meal, because its going to go on and on. My dad is a picture of Eph. 5:1-2. I'm so thankful for the example he has provided for me, and the one that he now provides to my boys. I'm thankful that he lives a life of love. And I want to be just like that when I grow up. :)

So, who do you want to be like?

First Day of VPK

Well, he's there.
Ayden is at school. His very first day of preschool. And his momma is a mess!! Before anyone else was awake this morning, I checked my facebook and saw that some of my sweet friends had sent us well wishes for the day and let us know they were praying. Needless to say, I broke down right there at the computer. Then, the text messages started rolling in and the tears sprang to my eyes once again. But, there was lots to be done and not enough time for crying. Ayden helped me scramble his eggs for breakfast, which he enjoyed along with a toaster strudel. As he was sitting on the counter stirring eggs, he said, "I fink I was wrong." I asked what he was wrong about. "Well," he said, "I fink I really will like school. I fink it will be lots of fun."
**Choking back sobs.**
That's great for my little man. I want him to have lots of fun and to like school. But it sure was hard to drop him off. As we waited our turn in the line to enter the classroom, his little hand squeezed mine and he asked, "Are you and my daddy going to stay wif me?" "No, buddy," I told him, "Daddy and I have to leave you here, but I'll come back in just a little bit to pick you up. Its going to be so much fun!" Then I kissed his cheek, that, while still sweet, is most definitely not the same little baby cheek I'm sure I was kissing just yesterday.
In a flash, it was Ayden's turn. He'd been such a good boy all morning and let me take pictures of him, but when it came time to take a picture with his teacher, Mrs. Speed, he covered his face. I guess we'll try it again another day.
After we dropped Ayden off, we went to another room for a little breakfast they had set up for parents. I was trying not to break out into the ugly cry, since it seemed I was the only parent even wiping away any tears. Jesse kept telling me that it was okay. "You wouldn't have wanted to leave him crying. He was sad, but he walked into the room like a big boy." True. But, my heart still hearts. And as soon as I made it to the car, I had a good, long cry, all the way home (which, to my credit is only about 5 minutes).
Now, I'm counting down the minutes until noon...

Lazy Saturday

I need to be cleaning, but I've basically been trying to do anything BUT that today. I guess I'm in a funk and just can't find the motivation to get after it. I'm about halfway done and I do have to dig deep and find the energy to finish before bedtime because we are having friends over for lunch tomorrow after church.
So, to pass the time, Ayden and I have been playing Hi Ho Cherry-O. I'm not really sure when it happened, but somewhere along the line I blinked and my little firstborn baby is a full fledged big boy. Today was the first time he has really understood the concept of how to play a game....or maybe its just that he's finally old enough for his attention span to last long enough to remember rules. We played two games and each won one. Every time the spinner would land on the dog or the bird he would say, "Oh those stinkin' birds (or dogs). Maybe someone should teach them a lesson!" Too cute!! We had a great time until Landon and Camden invaded Ayden's bedroom. We had closed the door so they wouldn't come in and try to grab all the little cherries, which would inevitably wind up in Camden's mouth. But Daddy came in to check on us and the two little ones snuck right in...and went straight for the game pieces. But it was fun while it lasted, and sweet time with me and my little man. I can't wait until all three of them are old enough to play games together.

Camden's First Birthday

Dear Camden,
365 days ago, you came into our family. What a perfect addition you are!! Sweet brown eyes and full of smiles, you are such a good baby. You are usually in a good mood. You adore your big brothers, and follow them around all the time. You like to think that you can do anything that they do.
Your first year has been much different from Ayden's and Landon's. Three weeks before you were born, we moved from Missouri to Jacksonville, Florida. Before we came, I couldn't fathom how we would live our lives so far away from all of your grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. But, God has been so faithful to bring sweet people into our life that are just like family. They are your surrogate aunts, uncles, and cousins. They love you just like family, and we feel the same about them.
Grammy, Gigi, Nanny, Aunt Heather, Rylee, and Caleb are here celebrating your first birthday. They were worried that it might take you a day or two to warm up to them, since you know them the least. But, as soon as they walked in the door, you walked right up to them.
Tonight we had your birthday party at Mr. Johnny and Mrs. Tammy's house. There were lots of people there who love you and were excited to celebrate this special day with us. You liked the icing on your cake, but you didn't really care for the chocolate cake. You weren't feeling all that great, though, and by the end of the night you were ready to come home and crash.
You have a whole mouthful of teeth and you've been walking for about six weeks. Much earlier than your brothers did!!
You have the best little personality....although you've begun showing a little bit of a temper lately. I'm trying to teach you not to hit and not to grunt when something doesn't go your way. You are a serious thumb-sucker. You use it to go to sleep and to calm yourself when you get upset. You like to rock and snuggle and I love those times when we have a few quiet moments together. You say "da-da" a lot, but you can also say, "ma-ma(baba), thank you (tatu), bye-bye (buhbuh)." You wave bye-bye and make kissing noises. You are drinking milk from a cup almost all the time now, and you no longer have any interest in baby food, since you have had table food. You have incredibly fat feet, so its hard to find shoes that fit on your feet, but you have a couple of pairs of flip flops for the summer and they look very cute on you. You are in size 3 diapers and 12-18 mos. clothes. You and Landon wear the same size diapers and you are only one size behind him in clothes.
We moved to a house, leaving the apartment, about three weeks ago. You and Landon are sharing a room. You both do a good job sleeping in there, but neither of you like to play in there. You almost always play in Ayden's room. I guess you all don't like the "baby" toys as much as the trains and cars and Lincoln Logs and action figures. You got some great noise-making toys as birthday presents and you've played with all of them tonight. Now, you are in your bed, which is crammed with two extra pack and plays, sleeping as contentedly as babies do. Sometimes, I like to go in, put the blankets back on top of you and smooth your sweet little brown (with a touch of red) baby curls.
I love you so much, my sweet sweet boy. But, I want you to know as you grow, that as much as mommy and daddy love you, there is One who loves you even more. Jesus. The very One who gave His life in order for you to live. He loves you and He has an incredible plan for your life. I wonder when you will accept His gift of salvation? How old will you be? How will it change you? How will He use you as you grow? As much as I don't want these days of babyhood to pass, I can't wait to discover the answers to these questions. I love you baby boy!! Sweet dreams!!
Love,
Mama

Thirsty

Its hot. Really hot. Like, cooking eggs on a sidewalk hot. So hot that sitting by the boys' little kiddie pool isn't even relaxing. So hot that I feel like taking three showers a day. So hot that even walking outside causes me to break a sweat.

When I think about how hot and uncomfortable I'm feeling, its usually followed by another thought. I'm thirsty. Really, really thirsty. Thirsty for a big glass of cold water. I've been thirsty a lot this week. Which has made me think.

How thirsty am I for the Lord? Do I long for a long drink from His word? Do I find refreshment after filling myself with Him? Does He bring me satisfaction? Is He the only One who can truly quench my thirst?

I know what my answer is. He's brought me to the place where only He satisfies. I can't get enough. When I get a taste, it leaves me longing for more. I'm so thankful for this season in my walk with Him.

So, I'll leave you with this thought.

Are you thirsty?

Hello, June

I can't believe it is already June 2010! We left Missouri on June 1st last year, and arrived, here, at our new home on June 3rd. We settled in to apartment life and found a new routine. Now, on Friday, exactly one year and one day (that's 366 days) we are leaving our apartment and moving into a house. We are incredibly grateful that for the place God provided for us to live this past year, but are equally grateful to be living in a house once again. We will have a small backyard for the boys to play in. And a garage so I can unload groceries without having to lock the boys in the apartment while I make 72 trips back and forth. Needless to say, we are busy packing and cleaning and sorting and all of the other fun things that go along with moving.

Its been a whirlwind of a year, full of both challenges and blessings. I'm amazed when I look back at all God has done for us this year! We have been so blessed by great friends who have become our family-away-from-family. We count ourselves lucky to know each of them! We also have some of the most incredible students ever!! I find it to be such a privilege to teach the 8th and 9th grade girls Sunday School class, and enjoy the time I get to spend with ALL of the students!

Okay, well, I need to get back to packing. Stay tuned for pics of the new digs in the next few days!!

First Steps, Bloody Noses, and Sleep Talkers

Whew! Things have been busy in the Ball house! Its not even officially summer, but we are already running like crazy and the calendar doesn't show any sign of letting up soon. But, in the few seconds of quiet I have while all three boys are napping I thought you should know the following:
1. Camden walked halfway across the living room last night. He has been taking steps for about 2weeks, even working up to 4 or 5 on occasion. But twice last night, he took his little bitty baby steps across the living room floor. What a big boy! I can't believe he is already 10 1/2 months old! We'll be celebrating his first birthday in just a few weeks!!
2. Landon is incredibly tough. He is not phased by any form of discipline that I've thought to try, he holds his own with his big brother, AND he bloodied his nose last night and only cried for a minute. Once he settled down, Jesse and I looked over his head at each other and just laughed. That child doesn't go through a day without a new bump, bruise, scratch, or cut!!
3. I think Ayden is thirsty. He fell asleep before Landon today and a couple of times as I've been in their room getting Landon back in bed, I've heard Ayden mumbling, "Mama, I'm firsty." Only, his eyes were closed and he was completely asleep. But, its happened twice, so I'm thinking he's going to be ready for a big drink of water when he wakes up.

Okay, so that was all totally random....but now you know. So there. Okay. Later.

p.s. Ayden just woke up and the first words out of his mouth were, "Mama, I'm firsty." :) See? Told ya.

My Top 10

Top 10 Reasons I'm Ready for My Husband to be Home:

10. Because all three of the boys have been sick the entire time he's been gone.

9. Because he was near in said Square while bomb crews worked to diffuse the car bomb.

8. Because the police were at our apartment complex (and at our building) Fri. night...possibly to check into the strange man sitting in the first floor hallway and the even stranger large man with a KNIFE just outside the building.

7. Because he carries on a much more intelligent conversation than toddlers and preschoolers, even though they are incredibly smart and fun to talk to.

6. Because we need to resume the house hunt.

5. Because he doesn't throw elbows and knees during the night like a certain 4 year old who has invaded my bed.

4. Because I need to show him my freshly highlighted hair.

3. Because I'm pretty sure he's bringing a present home for me...although maybe its for Mother's Day? Either way, he DID call me during church today to ask my size...oops!

2. Because all three of the boys have been sick since he left. Did I already mention that?

1. Because when he's not here, part of me is gone, too.

Only 13 hours left!!!

Lead me to the Cross

Its sometimes so easy for us to get caught up in living life, that we forget what living life is really all about. Sometimes we allow ourselves to be so blinded by the enemy that we forget to look at life through spiritual eyes. Sometimes we think we can do it all on our own. But, we can't....and we are usually reminded of that truth as we stare up from the place we've fallen to, wondering what happened. This song speaks straight to my heart....because the heart of this song is all about the cross...and the cross....well, the cross is why we have life. The cross is really what its all about...don't you think? I hope you worship with these words like I've been able to.

A Little From Our Week

Last night, we took the boys out to dinner and to get ice cream. As Ayden and Landon were enjoying their cup of strawberry deliciousness, Ayden looked up and told me, "God gave us tongues so we can taste ice cream." I love the way he sees God and I love the glimpse of the Father that I get through his little four year old eyes.

Ayden has also been having an incredibly hard time with being homesick for Missouri lately. He has also turned into quite the storyteller. So, the other night, this is the one he told me:
Julia and Levi came to Jacksonville, Florida to get me. Then we gooooot in the car, and we drove a loooooooong way to Missouri. That's where Grammy's house is. And Julia and Levi were so glad to see me. Then we had seeeeeven sleeping nights. Then we went to my old house in Missouri. And Julia and Levi came to my old blue room. And we had cookies!!

He has also appointed himself tutor for Landon's speech. He tells Landon to say all kinds of words (good ones, though....get your mind out of the gutter!). "Landy, say 'mama'....daddy, poppy, grammy, poot-ie-ay.... But, there's one word, in a certain tone of voice, that he has never told Landon to say. Yet, Landon has it down perfectly. He said it last night at Target after I tried a pair of flip flops on his feet but then put them back. Are you ready? You'll have to really picture this...with all the attitude I'm pretty sure I used when I was a kid (and probably still do at times)..."MAmaaaaa." Like, "hello, I wanted that to go MY way." Jesse just laughed....

Its all his fault, you know. I was a good kid. Its a good thing his children are as cute as he is...

Interesting Facts

One (1) jar of Camden's baby food has more carbs than my diet allows in an entire day.

If the back strap on Landon's flip flop is in the wrong place on his ankle, he plops his little self down, says "soo, soo" while pointing at the problem area, and waits for me to fix it. BUT, when the thong part (pardon my terminology) moves from in between his big toe and second toe to in between his second and third toes, he is not at all bothered.

Ayden doesn't like to eat his Goldfish crackers when they are "wet" because his macaroni and cheese sauce seeped over into the Goldfish area of the plate. Horror!!

All three of my boys have snotty noses this week. Yep, that one was for free.

I really want some chocolate. Or an orange. Or a big plate of pasta. Or...well, I could go on. But, I won't.

That is all for now.

The Tale of the Unneeded Mother

I experienced a first tonight.

We were at church and it was time for Ayden to go to Preschool Choir.

He put on his shoes (I don't know why he thinks he needs to kick them off at the threshold of the youth room).

He stood up.

He ignored my outstretched hand.

Then he informed me he didn't need my help.

"I can go all by myself, mama."

And, as I followed at an unseen distance, that is exactly what he did.

He marched down the stairs.

He pushed the buzzer button and waited patiently for Miss Deb to open the door.

He opened said door and took off down the hallway.

He didn't stop (too much) until he got to the doorway of the preschool choir room.

And in he walked his little four year old self.

I love that he's growing up.

But, I hate that he's growing up.

Ode to Imaginary Friends

You may remember that I've blogged about Ayden's invisible friend Goliaf. Well, Goliaf got old, I guess, because he hasn't been around in a few weeks. He was replaced with Wall-E, Princess Eloise, and Prince Alexander. Now that trio has gone everywhere with us. After I unbuckle Ayden from his carseat he climbs into the back of the Suburban and makes a clicking noise as he "unbuckles" his "friends" so they can go in too. Sunday, we were running late to church and didn't have time for him to rescue his friends, so they had to stay in the car. Mean Mama. This week, Wall-E, Princess Eloise, and Prince Alexander are gone to the Movie Castle (that's Disney World in Aydenese). So, he's been hanging with the Furious Five. I've had to watch them practice kung fu all day today. Ayden shared his grilled cheese and Cheetos with them at lunch...which may explain why he ate TWO WHOLE sandwiches. The rested with him this afternoon, and they wanted to help me cook dinner. After all that, Ayden brought out the big bag of tools that Landon got for Christmas and dumped them on the living room floor (yep, the one I've been trying to clean). He announced that he was going to build a house. But, he didn't know how and needed my help. Only, I was feeding Camden, so I advised him to ask the Furious Five for help. He informed me that my idea wouldn't work. The Furious Five apparently don't know how to cut wood. "Oh," I replied. "Why don't you find Handy Manny? He's really good at building things." His response? "No, Mama, Handy Manny lives in cartoons."
Silly me.

Second Time's a Charm

You might remember our first experience with Ayden singing with the preschool choir. Well, I'm happy to report that the second time around was much better!! And, as an added bonus, Grammy and Poppy were here to see and hear him. He was very proud of himself and were also thrilled with him!! Here's a few pictures from the day!

practicing before church

with his buddies Luke and Sarah waiting for their turn

the big momentall done...

Landon Is Two!!

Dear Landon,

Today you are two years old. I can't believe how fast the time has flown by!! What a big boy you are...and so precious with big blue eyes and a smile that melts my heart and lights up the room. You have had a hard year. You went from being the baby to a big brother....even though you were still a baby yourself. And, we moved to Florida and rocked your little world. You have handled it remarkably well, though. Most of the time, you are a really good big brother to Camden. You share your toys with him and give him kisses. Sometimes you push him down or take something away, but you always tell him, "sowee" and give him a kiss. You love your big brother Ayden and mimic everything he does. Sometimes that's a good thing, and sometimes....not so much. There are days when the two of you fight like cats and dogs, but most days you play together so well. I love watching you play together. You race your cars next to each other or drive your trains around together. Sometimes you chase each other and both laugh and giggle the whole time. You adore your Daddy and come running when he gets home. He likes to fold you up into a little ball and say, "Where's Landon?" and you giggle from inside the ball and laugh when he lets go and says, "There he is!" You love to cuddle with daddy and me, especially when you first wake up in the mornings and after your naps. You have been in a big boy bed for the last several weeks and you are slowly getting the concept that you have to stay in it and go to sleep. If only you knew how much I'd love to laugh when I see you up with cowboy boots on and riding on the rocking horse. As soon as you see me or daddy, you run back to your bed as fast as your little legs will carry you. Speaking of little legs...yours are...along with the rest of you. You only weigh about 22.5 pounds, which is crazy because most days you eat like a horse. I guess you just burn it all off... But, I think you are perfect and I wouldn't change you for anything! Your words have started becoming a lot more understandable the last few months. Some new words are "me mem" (yes ma'am), "shesh shir" (yes sir), "ha ha" (hot, hot), "d'er y ahh" (there you are), "d'er" (there), and "sowee" (sorry). You love to play with cars and Thomas trains and Buzz Lightyear and things that make noise. You carry a little toy microphone around and sing your version of "Jesus Loves Me." Mostly its just "Je-us" but I still think its cute!! When you feel bad, your eyes are a darker blue. When you are upset or don't want something you grunt and turn your head away. You are strong willed and stubborn, but everyone that knows you loves you. I am so excited to see the young man that you will grow up to be. I know God has such great things in store for you. You love people and I think that God will use that to help you reach people as you get older. Did you know that God has a plan, just for you? A plan that only Landon Ryan Ball can fulfill? Something just perfect for you! He loves you so much!! Even more than mommy and daddy, and we love you so much our hearts might burst! He loves you so much that He sent His son to make a way for you to live in heaven with Him one day. He has engraved you on the palm of His hand! I know you don't understand all of that right now, but one day you will...and you will rejoice in His love! But, for now, I want you to enjoy being two. This year I hope we can get you potty trained. I'm excited to see all of the new things you will learn in the next year. You are a sweet little man and I hope you have a very happy birthday! Now, lets get to the park, break out the Thomas decorations, grill some hot dogs, open some presents, eat some cupcakes, and, most importantly, celebrate YOU!!

I love you Landy!!

Mama

Questions I Have

The following questions have come to mind throughout the day today. Its not been a bad day, just a busy one. I love my little boys and my life is better because of them. They make me smile (most of the time), and their presence in my life is a source of constant joy. I would like to reiterate...its been a good day. But the comments and stares of others have prompted most of these questions:

-Why does my almost two year old (in 4 more days) think that its funny to run from me in public? Doesn't he know it makes me look bad to chase him? Its a good thing his jacket had a hood, because I grabbed him by that several times. Hey, it thwarted the escape attempt. What's a gal to do?

-Why do people feel the need to ask "You have all boys?!" Uh, yes...its not like they are dressed in gender neutral duds...

-Why do people feel like they need to inform me that I have my hands full? Really? Are you sure? Thanks for letting me know!

-Why, oh why, can the folks at Costco not work with me? Can't they see that if I have to get all three of my children out of the cart in order to pay that my well-oiled routine is going to crumble? Why can't they break the rules, just this once, and let me keep my cart on my side of the register?

-Why do the same checkout people have to look annoyed as I pin my two year old between my legs, balance the baby who's chubby fingers are reaching for the pen I'm using to sign the check, and look every 1.3 seconds to be sure my oldest is still next to me? Remember Mr. Costco Cashier Man, if I could have just left them in the cart we wouldn't have run into this problem.

-And, finally, why oh why oh why does it have to rain before I make it out of the last stop of the day? I'm not talking about a downpour, but a steady, somewhat heavy rain just the same. The kind of rain that's cold with wind blowing it in your face and in the face of your three children who are ready for nap time. The kind of rain that quickly soaks through light jackets and hoods. The kind that soaks the box I had so thoughtfully planned to pack my groceries in. The kind of rain that drives a wife to call her husband and see if there's a chance he might like to meet her at home to unload the car, only to get his voicemail...twice. The kind of rain that stops and allows the sun to shine through about 4.7 seconds after getting everyone and everything unloaded and buckled and so on. Yep, it was that kind of rain.

And it was that kind of day.

But, I wouldn't change it for anything.

**No Costco employees or innocent bystanders were harmed through the course of this day. And through the power of the Holy Spirit, none were even treated rudely. Like Mary, I just "stored these things up in my heart."

Official and Random News

Tear, tear, sob, hiccup...it's official. My beloved firstborn is enrolled in VPK for next year. I am so excited for him, because he is so excited. I'm also sad because it doesn't seem like he's old enough to go to school yet. Alas, it is what it is and its going to be wonderful. We found a great place for him to attend with people who love the Lord and love children. Ayden is having a hard time understanding that he has to wait until August. He's like, "Okay, Mama, we can go home and get my backpack, and you can put a peanut butter sannich in it. Then I can go to school!!" He's such a cutie!!

Our weekend was pretty slow-paced. Thank you, Lord. It was a really hectic and busy week and it was nice to be home. I got up BEFORE the crack of dawn on Saturday to go walking at the park with my friends. They are training for the River Run...and I'm crossing my fingers hoping that I can do it, too. But, the RR is 9 miles and we only went 3.5 and if I can be honest, I was a little sore yesterday. Leanne sets a breakneck pace, especially for this seriously out of shape chick! After walking, I came home...so Jesse could leave. He took 20 students to the City Rescue Mission to volunteer. Have I mentioned we have awesome, great, wonderful, super, fantastic students? We do. Anyway, the boys and I stayed home and I did laundry, laundry, laundry. But, I got it done! We ended the day with dinner together and Jesse and I watched the Olympics after putting the boys to bed.

Yesterday was a great day in the house of the Lord. A great Sunday School lesson followed by a wonderful worship service. We sang The Revelation Son. If you know the song, you know it was good. This Baptist girl was thinking about busting a move in the middle of the sanctuary! We had lunch with a group of our students and then came home and relaxed....boring, I know. But, we liked it!!

Tonight we are having a sweet couple over for dinner...so I need to get busy! Have a great day!

Oh wait, Leanne...I almost forgot....yesterday at lunch Ayden took a bite of mac n' cheese and burned his tongue. There was some serious whining going on last night. He wanted me to kiss his tongue. I had to gently break the news that there are just some things mamas don't do. And kissing the tongue of their 4 year old is definitely on the list. Then he wanted me to take him to the tongue store to get some medicine. Where do they come up with this stuff? It cracks me up!!

Please Don't Eat the Daisies

Happy Saturday!! I was up and at 'em early this morning for a brisk (can I say brisk?) walk at the park with a couple of friends. Its the only girl time I've had lately, so I'll take it! Jesse and the students are working at the City Rescue Mission today, so its just me and the boys at home. And my, oh my, are they all feeling boyish today!! They aren't being disobedient (for the most part)...just really busy. Camden started pulling up last night. Yep, at the ripe ol' age of 7 1/2 months, he thinks he's big enough and he's doing his best to keep up with his brothers. I'm still trying to get used to him crawling and picking up anything he can get his chubby little fingers on and promptly put in his mouth. Now, I can't rely on my strategy of putting things up higher where he can't reach them. Hmmm.... Then, I fed the older two their lunch at the table while I was busy doing a few things. I heard Ayden telling Landon not to make a mess, so I thought I'd better investigate. Jesse got me some really pretty flowers for V-Day that have been sitting on the table all week. I guess Landon decided they'd been pretty long enough because he picked the petals off some of the daisies. Grr... On the plus side, he DID NOT eat them...which is saying something, because that child will eat just about anything! He stands over Camden's shoulder while I'm feeding him his baby food and mooches as many bites as he can. You'd think now that he's had the real stuff he wouldn't want to go back, but it makes no difference to him. Oh well, I've decided Leanne's right... One of these days they won't be little and I won't have these stories to tell, so I'll enjoy this season...there's way more good than bad anyway!

To My Old Friend Nap Time

Dear Nap Time,
I'm not sure why you've felt the need to desert me. Maybe you didn't realize just how much I appreciated you. Do you remember that I have three...three...little boys? Do you realize that they very much need naps for my sanity and their safety? I'm weary from my morning and when you come, I very much like the quiet and the time to myself and the hour or two to get things done. It takes a lot out of a person to help entertain imaginary friends, which, by the way, change on a daily basis depending on the movie that Mr. A has on the brain. Then there's Mr. I'm-Entering-the-Terrible-Twos-And-Constantly-Pushing-My-Limits-And-Am-Showing-Myself-To-Be-Just-As-Strong willed-As-My-Older-Brother. Need I say more? I know...but I will. The little man is all over the place picking up any minute particle off of the floor and instantly putting it in his mouth. Today he swallowed something without me even knowing. I guess it didn't make his tummy feel very well because he promptly threw his lunch up all over me. I'm sure you now realize why I was so ready for you to come today. But, you didn't. You left me alone. No nap for one, 30 min. for another, and a blessed hour or so for another. Please, please old friend, come back to my house. We'll all be in much better moods and so many problems could be avoided if everyone was well rested. Consider it, at least? Don't make me beg...

Meet My New Friend...

Ayden has a new friend.

Apparently, they are the best of friends.

They do everything together.

I even got to meet him tonight.

Ayden asked me to shake his friend's hand.

I turned to do just that.

Only, there was no one there.

He prompted me again.

"Momma, he's sitting in this chair. Right next to you."

Oh.

"His name is Goliaf."

He's invisible.

Hello, imagination.

What a Day!

Yesterday, my friend had ONE OF THOSE days with her little boy...one where she took a picture of him sitting on TOP of their van and sent it to her husband's phone asking how his day was going.

Today has been similar for me...

Camden is crawling, and he's also incredibly good at finding minute little particles of...well, everything, on the floor. So, I spent a good portion of each day trying to keep the older boys' toys picked up and in their room so Camden doesn't choke. Today, I've had to take away Ayden's shoe, Landon's shoe, a string of carpet that came loose, and someone's dirty sock. Only the sock didn't make it to his mouth. Gross.

Then, there's Landon. Landy. Landy-Lou. Landon-Shmoo as his daddy calls him. Oh this child. He tried to take a toy away from Camden. Mr. Bossy and Protective Older Brother Ayden wouldn't let him. So, Landon bit Ayden. WHAT?! Yep, on the neck...he didn't get him bad though because Ayden smacked him and made him fall down. So then they were both trouble. We had to do the "we don't bite or hit" talk.

Just a few minutes ago, Ayden was playing in the floor with Camden. He's very good at that. And even though he and Landon have their moments, he's a very good big brother to both of the little ones. But, anyway, I look over and Ayden is (albeit gently) putting his hands around Camden's neck and rocking him back and forth saying, "Show me a big smile..." I'm trying to tell Ayden that this is not a good way to play with the baby...much too rough and all that...all the time, Camden is giggling like a little school girl (I guess school girls laugh a lot...). Ayden said, "See, he likes it!"

Sweet Sounds

I just had the privilege of my very own concert! Landon has been in his toddler bed for about a week now, and so there is a battle at bedtime to get him to stay in his bed. At first it was going really well...and now, well....now its not. Its been taking well over an hour for him to fall asleep because he's up every 3 seconds. So, tonight, soon after putting the boys to bed, I heard a sound coming from Ayden's and Landon's room that sounded like toys being moved around. I marched myself that way, prepared to do battle. But, Landon wasn't out of his bed. Neither was Ayden. The sound I heard was Ayden smacking his fist on his palm. Then, I heard "...ve rains came down and ve floods came up, and the house on the rock stood firm...." He finished that song and went straight into "Only a Boy Named David," then "This Little Light of Mine," and "Christmas Bells Are Ringing." I very rarely get the treat of hearing Ayden sing as you might remember from this. He's definitely not a performer...unless he's in the mood...which he is...a lot...unless I want him to...then...not so much. Anyway, at the end of his singing, Landon tried his own version of one of the songs (I think he was saying "the house on the sand went SMASH!). Then, Ayden saw me and told me to come and sit on his bed so he could sing to me. What is sweeter than a four year old singing "Jesus Loves Me?" Now that's what I call a good ending to the day...

Delayed Obedience

Ok, so there are things with each of our boys that we are working on. Camden...well, Camden is learning to eat baby food and baby puffs and drink out of a cup. Landon has been introduced to the time out chair and is finding that when he screams or takes things from his brothers he has to spend a little time in the time out chair. With Ayden, we want him to obey the first time we ask him something...not to repeat ourselves over and over. He does really well with this at times, but other times I'm almost certain the look on his face means, "Seriously, I don't have time to listen right now...I'm playing!" But through the process of teaching him to obey the first time, an old phrase has come to mind. Miss Kim used to say "Delayed obedience is disobedience." Boy, looking back now I'll bet Jill and Garrett used to hate hearing that!! But, its SO true! And, I've found myself saying the same thing to Ayden recently. I was feeling kind of proud of myself to be able to impart Miss Kim Wisdom to my children...but then God used my VERY OWN words to teach me a lesson! How many times do I choose to obey Him right away...the very first time He asks? Ouch!! Sometimes I find myself pleasing me and the others around me more than I work to please my Father. Sometimes I'm afraid of what He's asking of me and try to reason with Him. Sometimes I put other people or things before Him. But, He, ever so gently, reminded me that delayed obedience is disobedience. And, really, that's the black and the white of it. I wonder what our lives would look like if we always obeyed immediately?

Miles to Go

Tonight was the first night of Ladies Night Out - East. Imagine almost 50 women, most young moms and a couple with infants, crammed into a living room and kitchen, with pens poised, journals open, and hearts expectant to hear God's voice. That's what I got to experience tonight. Today has been a good day with the Lord. I'm so thankful that He led me to a place where I can be mentored as a wife and mother. To be challenged with questions of "What tone do you set for your home?" and "What kind of mother do you want to be?" Although God has already been teaching me much in this area, I was so encouraged and challenged as a sweet woman took the time to teach us truths she has learned from God's word over the years. I have much running through my mind tonight, and many ideas I am praying about implementing. I want to be more focused on parenting to the heart of my boys and training their hearts while building their character. Even though they are young, I see areas that they excel in, and others that need some tweaking. My prayer through it all is that I can be transparent with them...that they can see how God's word is applicable to our lives and to see it lived out each day...and that when we stumble and fall, our Father is quick to pick us up, dust us off, and set us back on the course.
As we drove home tonight, I shared that I so enjoy LNO because its very practical...right at the place my life is...and God is teaching me about practicality right now...how a simple, childlike view of Him could alter my thinking forever...and how the principles in His word are practical...they don't need to be complicated...they can be used, without being altered...just as they are. I'm a work in progress, but so thankful He considers me worthy...

Nothin' Like Kids...

This has been a long week. Not exactly bad...just long....

Camden spent Monday and Tuesday wanting to be held all day.

Ayden and Landon have alternated between playing together like the sweet boys they are and fighting like cats and dogs over the Lightning McQueen car (we have several...but they both want THE ONE).

I heard some bad news last night about an old classmate.

So...not a terrible week by any means...just long...

But then I put the boys to bed. As I put Camden down in his cradle he grinned up at me and I had the urge to pick him up and hold him all night. Then I went to say prayers with Ayden and Landon. First, Ayden quoted the verse we've been teaching him...
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this us right. Ephesians 6:1"
Then his prayer thanking God for his family, that he got to go to church, for his bed and house and toys...and when he said "Amen" Landon followed suit with his version, "Meeemen!"
Andd then? We sang songs to the Lord together.

Just what I needed....

Yay for Girls Night!!

Tonight I got to go out with girls. All girls. Just girls. Girls, glorious girls. I love girl time! Tomorrow is my birthday and another friend just had one, so we went out tonight to celebrate. Mimi's never saw it coming....they were probably glad to see us go! I had a splendiferous time! Its nice to have friends. Its nice to feel welcomed into a circle. Its nice to have people you can share struggles and high points with. People who will hold you accountable in your walk with the Lord. People who also love Him and desire to walk with Him daily. I'm blessed to be called a friend of these special girls. Can't wait til next time!!

To Ayden

Dear Ayden,
Today you are 4 years old!! Where has the time gone? You are not a baby anymore...and if I forget to tell you that you're a big boy, you are quick to remind me. You have done a lot of growing up this past year. You are now (finally) completely potty trained. Your imagination has taken off and you like to play pretend. You brush your own teeth, get yourself dressed, and put on your own shoes. You've had to deal with a lot of changes this last year, too. You became a big brother for the second time. We moved away from Missouri. You stopped spending every day with Grammy when we moved and started staying home with me. I think you've handled it all really well. But it's been the hardest on you because Landon and Camden aren't old enough to understand what's going on.
You are the best big brother in the world. You take care of your brothers. You give them hugs and kisses. You protect them. You play with them and share (most of the time) with them. Yesterday as I was getting ready for church Camden was laying on my bed crying. So you climbed up and layed down beside him and sang him a song that you made up about not crying. It worked like magic as he stopped crying and looked up at you and smiled. I love the relationship you have with your brothers and I pray it continues.
You have also began to be curious about the Lord, asking me questions and telling me things you have learned. For the longest time when I would ask you what you learned in Sunday School, your answer would be "God." But now when I ask, you recite your whole story. You love to go to "class" with Miss Melody and Miss Terri and Mr. David. You usually run in and give Miss Melody a big hug. I was so proud of you yesterday when I worked in your class during the extended session and heard you answering the questions about King Soloman building a church for the people to sing songs to God in. Then you sang a song that you sing to God. One you learned about baby Jesus in preschool choir: Christmas bells are ringing, Children now are singing, Jesus baby Jesus, was born on Christmas day.
You are a performer and yet you're not. Sometimes you will sing or dance or quote movies (you get that from daddy) and you want us to watch and clap at the end. Other times, like when your preschool choir sang in front of the church, you want nothing to do with it. Grammy, Poppy, and I took you to see the Alvin and the Chipmunks Squeakquel while we were in MO for Christmas. You were dancing along with the music but I didn't want to tell you I noticed because I was afraid you would stop.
Your love language is physical touch. You love to climb on my lap and snuggle under a blanket, especially if one of your movies is on. You like to hold hands, give hugs, and kisses. You tell me you love me all the time...I never get tired of hearing it. Last night you told Daddy that you loved him...you don't tell him as much...and it melted his heart.
You are so much like your Daddy. You might look like me and the Griffiths, but there's no mistaking who your Daddy is. You have the same personality, the same quick temper, the same mannerisms, the same ability to quote a movie after seeing it once, the same thumb-sucking habit Daddy had when he was your age. One of these days, I know you'll understand that Daddy tries to be like his Daddy...and that you'll make the decision to follow him as well.
You told me when you turn 4, you'll go to school. You could go to preschool this fall, but Daddy and I are still praying about it. On a personal note, I'm not sure momma is ready for you to be gone. It makes my heart heart that you are getting so big. But, I'm also so very proud of the little boy you're growing up to be. Tonight we are having a big birthday party with friends from church. You are so excited and you have been asking me if its your birthday yet. Well, big boy, today is the day. Right now you are snuggled up in my bed with your Daddy. You came in about 6:30 this morning. I'd like to snuggle with you...but I promised you pancakes for breakfast. I love you more than words can say. I can't wait to see how you continue to grow this next year. Have a wonderful day.
Love,
Momma

A Very Merry Christmas

Well, we're back home after ten glorious days spent with our friends and family in McDonald County. After all those hours on the road, there's nothing quite like topping the hill and seeing the U of A...and then Rogers...Bentonville...Bella Vista...the Jane Wal-Mart...Rains Road...White Bluff Road...rounding the corner and seeing the farm....knowing we're on the dirt road and can unbuckle the boys and let them finish the last mile on our laps...and then finally seeing mom and dad's house come into view. I'm getting a little teary eyed now just thinking about it. We were busy and yet not busy and had such a wonderful visit. We even got a white Christmas!! It was a little strange for Jesse and I (and I think mom and dad, too) for us to do our Christmas with the kids at a place other than our own living room...but such a sweet time, too. And, we had picture takers and video takers so we could both enjoy helping and watching the boys open. Of course we started with the Christmas story and I got a lump in my throat as I watched all three of my boys snuggle on their daddy's lap to listen. Santa brought Camden a sit/stand play table thingy thats really cool and makes lots of noise...Landy got a new Buzz Lightyear and a Toy Story chair...and Ayden got the yellow Transformer that he's been asking Santa for. Bless his heart...he's so fun at this age!! As we put him in bed, "Santa" showed up outside the window with a "Ho, Ho, Ho" and a jingle of sleigh bells. Ayden said, "That's not the Santa I know. I'm going to hide!!" and the pulled the blankets over his eyes! It took him a loooong time to fall asleep and he told me that he just couldn't get his eyes to close.

I also got to spend not one, but TWO days with my mom and sisters as we shopped til we dropped. I haven't had the chance to go shopping with anyone other than the boys since we moved to Jacksonville and I so I haven't gotten much in the way of clothes since then. And I was in some serious need! It was so nice to have people to give me opinions, and,.....well, if you're a girl you just know what I mean! I got some cute new clothes and still have a little more Christmas money burnin' a hole in my pocket. Mostly, though, I loved being with mom, Heather, and Katie. It seemed so....normal. I miss those girls!!

A few days before we left we were able to have an early birthday party for Ayden. So much fun! He got a Thomas train track and when he saw it he said "Just what I've always wanted!" He was such a sweet boy and told everyone thank you and gave them hugs as he opened his gifts. He even blew out his candles and smiled when we sang to him... When did he get to be so big?

The night we left my momma made me my favorite dinner...meatloaf...much to the chagrin of most of the rest of the family. This would have been the first year I can remember when my mom didn't cook dinner for my birthday, but she took care of it by cooking that night. As we were all gathered around the table eating, I got the biggest lump in my throat. I kept thinking that it seemed so....normal....I kept coming back to that. Yes, the waterworks started at that point and didn't truly stop until WELL into our drive.

In Sunday School this morning we talked about the plans we make for our lives and how we reconcile that with what God has for us. My life is NOT the life I had planned. I never planned to move away. I never planned to raise my babies anywhere far way from their grandparents. I never planned to reacquaint myself with my niece and nephew every time I visit and vice versa with my kids. I never planned to look forward to a day shopping with adult companions. I never planned for a lot of things. But God did. God asked Jesse and I to be obedient. And He has blessed us for doing so. Making friends is so difficult for me, but God is bringing friends into my life. He is bringing people into our life that love our boys. I don't really know how to put into words what I'm thinking and feeling. Leaving MO this time was hard....really hard. I don't know when we'll get to go back. Thinking it may not be until next Christmas is almost more than I can bear. I've already missed so much....my baby sister has fallen in love since I've been gone, my niece and nephew have reached all kinds of baby milestones. Basically, life has gone on for them...and it has for us. But sometimes it doesn't feel like it should...

I think I'm starting to ramble...So, let's wrap it up. My sweet sweet friend sent me a text message just before we left and again after we got home...and I know she thinks it wasn't a big deal...but it was. Knowing that there are people here who love us is what makes it okay for me to leave my family, even if it is hard. I may not have planned for my life to follow this path, but in the end, as hard as this is to say, would I really want it any other way?